Today was a cleaning day for me and while cleaning my house I observed myself and the way I was performing the task. The only thought which kept surfacing was about how to be over with it as soon as possible, because I have defined this activity as tedious and even useless in my mind. In this I was thus rushing through everything wanting to go on to some other activity that I defined within me as more pleasurable. There was no awareness and no real consideration about preforming the task diligently and with care.
Within an hour I was done with all the rooms, which is a normal timeline for my cleaning duty. The same attitude I apply for many tasks in my reality which upon more careful consideration definitely requires more attention due to them being real practical living actions required to have an effective living environment.
Surely I place the responsibility upon myself for not having changed effectively through the years since I have become aware about the importance of the simplicity of practical living but then also, if I go back in time, I would also place the responsibility towards my parents as they were the ones that made me this way in the first place. As a parent I can see now the immense importance of teaching your child about these simple every day requirements to have an effective and fully functional life.
Now what is done is done and there is no way I can turn back the time but I can ensure that I correct what is here now as this time space consequence that I have allowed to continue, especially since the day of realizing the required correction. There is no need to dwell back or judge or feel guilt or experience any emotion for that matter but to walk the new path. The realization did come through during the time of cleaning today but but but, there is always this but which directs my actions which in other words is an abdication of self-responsibility to the automated version of who I have become through many many years of repetitive behavior.
The resistance fueled by justifications, when that comes I stop myself and I breathe realizing it’s my programmed mind speaking and in this I make the decision to remain and follow my realization and understanding about the importance of such simplistic tasks to be done with diligence and care as well as any other tasks in my life.
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