“It’s taking too long” -This is one statement that is coming a lot within my mind and in various situations. Obviously the effect of having this thought spinning in my mind is that within this I will try and find a way out, a shortcut, put a quick end to whatever it is I am doing for “too long” and run off to the next thing. It happens when I am interacting with someone, when I am doing some physical work, when driving, when walking, when eating, when writing and investigating myself etc. So basically it’s in most situations within my life.
When I look at all the above mentioned scenarios this point of doing it fast is really detrimental – let’s take the interaction with someone and wanting to end it quick and move on, so here I am not really hearing, not really participating with another, there is no enjoyment as I am too busy in my mind running towards the next activity, never being here; then when I am driving – well that is simply dangerous; when eating – yeah this is a common sense point where it’s absolutely crucial to eat slowly chewing properly each bite in the mouth and thus assisting the body to digest the food properly in order to achieve the best result in extracting nutrients and minerals from the food as well as ensuring effective elimination of what’s been digested. And of course the point of sitting down with myself and through writing investigating myself where, again, here I am rushing and skipping steps just to finish it quickly.
This is obviously a problem that needs immediate correction because when doing things in this manner the things are simply not done properly and they need to be redone at a later stage again and again. I will firstly and foremostly apply this correction towards self-investigation through writing because I see this one as the most crucial point where it’s essential to give myself the time to really work with myself in absolute detail and specificity by considering everything that’s here. Without slowing down there is simply no way I am gonna see the deeper layers of my existence, I will never be able to understand who I am, how I got here and how to get where I want to get. Without slowing down I’ll never be able to see the solutions as the practical step I need to take to change myself and my reality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rush myself to get things done
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that by rushing I am not getting the fullpicture of what it is I am doing but only scratching the surface
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stop and ask myself why and where am I rushing asmy next point and is it really worth it
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that this point of rushing is closely connected to hope where I exist within the believe that I will find myself there in the future
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that existence of hope is not allowing me stop running, looking and searching instead of realizing that I must just stop for a moment and really look at what I am doing
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the actual reality is the physical reality and not the mind reality which has the tendency to create alternate realities in absolute separation from what is real
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand equal to my breathing which show the actual pace of the physical but instead I move as fast as my mind that is separated from the physical movement
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be contempt with simply being here in and as breath
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use energy as my motivation for movement instead of moving myself through my own self-directed decisions
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that there is nothing and nowhere to reach, that in reality the very thing I am trying to catch is here in and as breath where everything is here if only I slow myself down and see
When and as I see myself rushing, trying to escape the current moment and move to the next thing I stop myself, I take a deep breath and remind myself to slow down for a moment or even speak those words aloud to myself and within that reassess my position, identify where it is that I am trying to rush and why, and I also ask myself – who is making this decision to rush?
I commit myself to live the realization that the only way I can truly see my reality is when my mind is still, not rushing anywhere and where I am aware of my breathing as the point of stability and necessary measure of the pace equal to the physical reality that is here
I commit myself to be the directive principle of how I move in my reality instead of allowing the mind to direct me
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Cool Arvydas!!