Day 5: Positive Communication

I noticed very nauseating pattern that I exist in and as – where within communicating with other beings I go into positivity trying to cover the real issues at hand instead of having guts and speaking directly what I see in the moment. Usually I notice what I have done but it’s too late – I can only forgive myself, correct myself and make sure that never again I miss these moments to actually connect with another being, get in their shoes and walk together to solve patterns that are destructive.

I see this has a lot do with my uncertainty and doubt where I believe that I am never in a position to suggest anything to another because of the state that I am in myself as well as the fear of other people’s reactions. This self-belief is not valid and is used by me basically to avoid responsibility to take action. It’s obvious that with this attitude I will never get to know myself or others in depth but will only fuck around on the surface of the conscious mind personalities. The fear of others reactions is also not valid because when I point something to someone and if that that point is not the point then the person should not be influenced by it or have a reaction towards it because they know within themselves that this point that I am pointing is clear within them, however if reaction comes up that means there is a problem. Surely here what has to be considered is the approach where I make sure that I don’t come from the starting point of blame or judgment but that I am merely stating information clearly without any energetic projection.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look only for my self-interest as keeping my good image about myself when facing a challenging situation where I use positivity to cover the real issues and thus I don’t take responsibility to bring problems of this reality into real practical solutions that requires courageous exposure and radical actions

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that solutions to this world cannot be overcome by avoiding them through positive attitude but that they must be faced head on where the real shit is uncovered no matter how uncomfortable that is and no matter what that will do to my image that I have about myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an image about myself where i am always smiling and positive and apparently being able to solve problems in a nice way while all the while I haven’t really assisted a single being with this kind of behavior

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am able to tell the bad news to people in humorous way but yet so far I haven’t been able to show this way anyone the seriousness of the problems that we all face

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear going into unknown territory, meaning that I fear being straightforward with people in telling them exactly what I see, of course doing that without any emotional energetic projection, instead I always do what I always knew  – to try and make people see the points in a nice manner – however that just doesn’t work

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a double faced deceiver within communicating with other people where within myself I have one train of thoughts that I speak inside myself and then there are actual words that I say and speak that do not reflect my inner reality

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that by wanting to assist people to see what they are participating within using my positive attitude I am actually doing more harm because when they exist in a “negative” state covering that with “positive” creates more friction that takes one even further away from facing the real problems

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be so blind to the reality around me where  within participating in a moment with another being I can only see myself and consider only my self-interest and self-image  as proved by my positive attitude that I use to cover the real issues that must be brought up for an effective resolution

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that it is my responsibility to expose dishonesties that I see within another without in any way coloring the truth to make it look better than it really is

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself from being so inconsiderate within communication with another instead of correcting myself and making sure that from now on I speak as a real being without any fear to make my hands dirty

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to trust myself being able to point out to another what I see they are doing that is causing their problems where I do not take time and care to place myself in their shoes to understand in totality what they are experiencing

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to take enough time to understand another beings position where I can later say to myself  that I did everything in my power to assist them – I realize that I am responsible for every single being I meet in my reality and thus I take all the time required to walk myself into perfection where I become as effective as possible in bringing realizations and the required change to myself and others as myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear reaction that I might get from people if I point out to them what I see that they are doing that doesn’t support them where I do not realize that their reaction is an indication that the point is painful and thus requires support

Thus from now on I commit to myself that I will be more considerate within communicating to people where I place my full attention to the interaction making sure I understand every word being said

When and as I see myself fearing to be straightforward to people in communication I stop myself, I breathe – I clear my starting point where I make sure there is no blame/judgment or any other energetic projection and I talk in a straightforward manner placing my words with care and full consideration for another, the same way that I would like to be cared and considered myself

I commit myself to become a responsible being that is willing to support self and another as self within brutal self-honesty where I realize that this is the only way to face self as what we have become in our acceptances and allowances

 

Artwork by Matti Destonian Freeman

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