Today at work our superior got angry with us because we didn’t do the work that was expected and as a result of the little speech that we got from him we, as the group, went into the mode of resistance. The egos got hurt. When observing my own mind I saw that I was in a fighting mode where on the one had I could understand that there is certain agreement that we made coming here and this includes obeying the commands of the superiors, I mean it’s how the system functions, yet still I was backchatting about this specific guy where I couldn’t understand why one has to be such a hardass and exert his control in depreciating people on matters that are completely irrelevant for the effective functioning of the system. So I blamed him for making it personal where he simply wanted to show that he is in control.
After the incident one of my colleagues started going through his memories in proving how bad is the guy and asked me to confirm that he is right. I gladly did.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist getting orders from my superior not realizing that what you resist persists meaning that through my resistance as energetic reactions I am simply feeding the whole system to remain as it is
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, understand and realize that the mind system in which we find ourselves in and as is dependent on energy that each one of us generate through our thoughts feelings and emotions thus my reactions towards receiving orders from the superior is keeping my mind system locked within the big system where I simply play my part of being energy generator
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the only way to stop the abuse of me and of all the other beings in existence is by stopping my participation within my thoughts, feelings and emotions where I no longer act as a generator of energy for the system and where within that I stand stable as my breath simply seeing the system as it is as mathematical codes as agreements by which we as humans move within the system and where within that I act accordingly without any personal attachments but by the principle of changing all the existing agreements of this world to the point where they consider equally all that is here on this earth and existence
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my superior where within that I created a relationship of superior/inferior towards him and where now I have to constantly and continually sustain this relationship through having thoughts feelings and emotions towards him and where I am lost as my breath unable to see the actuality of how the system operates and what has to be done to correct myself within it to be able to stand equal to it and from here make change within the agreements that this system exist in and as
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in gossip about my superior in trying to diminish him and uplift myself – basically fighting as my ego to hold my “honor” that was wounded by the actions of my superior
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as the ego that can be hurt instead of realizing that the whole system simply functions according to specific rules and agreements and that reacting to and resisting the rules is totally useless but instead I have to stop taking things personally and educate myself specifically what are these rules and agreement that systems works by and within that move myself efficiently and effectively where I place myself within the system in a position where I can stand as a decision maker and thus create new rules and agreements that will honor all beings equally and where dignity of each being will be restored
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my superiors for the decisions they make instead of standing equal to them within realization that I have abdicated the decision making processes to them because of my unwillingness to take responsibility for myself and my reality
Thus I commit myself to educate myself about the functioning of the system to thus be able to stand equal to my superiors and where I can be heard as the voice of reason showing in common sense simplicity what we are actually doing by participating in this system that values profit above life
I commit myself remove all fear in communicating with my superior so that through communication with them I could stand equal to them and through communication revel slowly but surely the lives that we all accepted and allowed
I commit myself to stop all backtalking about any person where I turn backtalking into facetalking – where I realize that if fear to talk directly and face another being exists it means I am being self-dishonest and hiding self-interest