I don’t want to go home, but rather stay here at work. How come? So I have a job where I work for two weeks and then two weeks I am free from work. During the time when I am at work everything is taken care for me –I have plenty of food to choose from, my clothes get washed every day where I just have to bring them to laundry and the next day it’s perfectly placed for me to take it back, my room is being cleaned each day with new towels placed on my bed, all the garbage is taken out – basically I life exactly as when you would go to a hotel – all included. That’s how I always desired to live – so I see that I have manifested in a way my dream, but apparently I wasn’t specific enough with details and forgot to mention in my dream journal that I don’t feel like working whatsoever. Whereas now I have to work here each day from 7am to 7pm. That’s shit, however work is not difficult and I get some free time to concentrate on the things I need to get done.
Ok so back to home – it represents a place where I have to take responsibility for everything myself – the biggest point of all is feeding myself where so far I am failing at it miserably. I find myself completely unable to cook for myself – where I don’t have any desire to learn and spend lots of time in the kitchen. Having to eat seems so useless to me where in the past I would often live with total minimum intake of food and even wanted to stop eventually eating completely where I believed that somehow that was possible.
So for a long time I had an image within myself of how I want live my life and here my favorite persona that was stuck in my head with his lifestyle was Nicola Tesla. He was a scientist who discovered many technological machines and principles that we utilize today. He was a great genius. During the last years of his life for quite some time he lived in a hotel where he also worked on his inventions. So that was my desired lifestyle that I was after – how I perceived all that within myself was: to have a big passion for the work I do and to be able to completely devote my life to that passion being constantly and continually immersed within it. Thus I perceived all these worldly rituals of eating, washing, cleaning etc. as pure distractions.
When I look at it now it’s exactly how I lived my life – I was a genius who completely separated myself in my mind reality constantly and continually preoccupied with creating of my inner world in separation from what is here. I did that because I really didn’t like what is here, it was too limited in in my physical body by comparison to what I could do in my mind. I was much better and greater in my thoughts/imaginations/fantasies. Within all that daily tasks of taking care for myself was a nuisance and distraction that was interfering with my inner mind reality and I thus throughout my life I tried to transcend these perceived limitation.
Only now I realize the consequences of this allowance to exist primarily in my mind ignoring this physical reality where now I am faced with the truth of myself and the actual required solution. I have seen with help from Desteni that the actual reality is physical reality and that the mind reality is completely dependent and cannot exist without the physical energy. So the solution is not trying to escape from this physical reality into my mind but to sort out this physical world by realizing that I am of the same substance as this physical world and that I am this physical world and that only in and through my mind I perceive myself to be separate from everything that is here as this physical reality. Within that accepting the current limitation and taking responsibility for what has been created as this world I live in. From here it is my responsibility to understand how exactly we have limited ourselves into these tiny mind personalities where we believe to be separate from each other and where within this believe we wage wars against each other never realizing out true essence/source of where we all come from together one and equal – which is this physical dust of the earth.
So the journey is to deconstruct the current agreed “life” we all live which is based on separation and realize our oneness and equality with each other – and to make this realization our new starting point of creation. All ways acting as what is best for all within realization that all is me. I am not separate from anything or anyone.
So if I go back with this realization to the beginning of this writing – I cannot ignore my physical needs as they are real and it’s what is here as my accepted creation. I cannot place this responsibility on others where I position myself within a system to be taken care of as this feeds the inequality where some have to do only the dirty work so I could concentrate on other things. We all have to stand equal to the basic laws of this physical existence where each has intimate understanding of the responsibility we have to support in best ways our physicality.
Surely it’s the money system that currently allows and makes this ignorance possible – where the rich can have slaves to do all the dirty work for them while they enjoy only the good side of life. If we remove the control of money we all stand equal in taking care for ourselves – thus Equal Money System will equalize the ground where each will finally have to stand and see all sides of reality – only here we will all as one find solutions how to identify and remove current limitations that we all exist in and as. Science will no longer be based on profit serving self-interest of the shareholders but will for the first time work towards improvement of all human condition. Greed and fear will no longer stand in the way of real progress. Who knows what is possible then.
Will continue tomorrow with self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements….
Artwork byMaya Harel