Here I will look at my relationship with Love. To me it was quite obvious from the beginning that there is something wrong with Love and I asked myself and others in my world many times to explain me what is this thing Love, but every time I was getting different answers thus never really getting to any conclusion about it. As a child I remember we had this chewing gum for sale “what is love” and after unpacking the first layer you would always get these little drawings with some words in it explaining what is love – so there were many explanations about love – the guys must have busted off their asses to come up with such a variety of explanations perhaps never realizing that they are confusing the population and especially children with all this nonsense. From what I remember mostly it depicted the acts of pleasing another to be the expression of Love. So basically when I look back there is only confusion and uncertainty about Love as this supposedly all-encompassing presence. It was always here but it was never really grasped or understood within the minds of men.
So it’s time for Love to be exposed and actually defined so that we could take it to the court and determine its rightful place. Here we will be the judges that will decide if the thing called Love was of any worth to humanity or was it just a virus that was infiltrating people’s minds for some evil purposes.
In my later years during the time when I formed my first relationship I realized in a way what it is that people refer to as Love. It was a wonderful intoxication where everything in my world basically disappeared and where I was just falling in Love. It was a constant blissful feeling, butterflies in the stomach and all that bullshit. When I looked back to that period in time and within seeing how I existed in relation to all other beings in my reality I was really ashamed of myself for allowing myself to be sooooo blind. Nothing else mattered for me but that feeling as well as my partner as she was the necessary part for me to be able to generate this feeling.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question love within the believe that something that is so good can’t be bad
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself blame and become angry with my family when they would comment on my obsessive behavior when I was in love
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have a full right to be in Love not seeing and realizing that within that I was not taking any responsibility for anything else but my own feelings
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see or consider other beings in my reality while being in love
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise all my other relationship that I had in my world just to hold on to the feeling of love
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become completely irresponsible, untrustworthy being because I placed my feeling of love above everything else
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see how much I was separated from my physical reality while being in love
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I was manipulating and forcing my partner to compromise her relationships so that I could ensure that she belongs only to me and that in this way I am certain to have my feeling of love secured
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that love is a feeling as the positive energy that can be sustained only for so long and that inevitably I will have to fall down from my fantasy world and face the reality of what I have allowed
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that to sustain the feeling of love I had to constantly generate energy and that this energy had to be extracted from my physical body thus sucking it dry just to maintain the alternate reality of love
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that love is the greatest tool used by those in control of this reality because beings that are in love are completely oblivious to what goes around them –thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall into the trap of controllers by falling in love
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall
I commit myself to expose the reality of what love is and thus manifest a structure of support to prevent as many falls as possible
I commit to place love in the same category as any other addictive drug and prove that it is so
I commit myself to challenge lovers and show how far they have separated themselves from what is here as this physical reality which in the meantime is completely ignored and disregarded when in fact it is single most important things upon which all is dependent
I commit myself to prove that we as humans to don’t actually have the right to experience love because to experience love one only takes and takes from this physical reality as the energy to sustain the feeling of love while in return giving nothing of real worth
I commit myself to show that there is no real love in this world just by showing the facts and numbers of how majority of human beings in this world exist while someone has the audacity to close themselves in the bubble of love and pretend that what happens in the world has nothing to do with them
I commit myself to show that the only valid form of love is physical practical care for another beings as oneself where no separation and limitation exists
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