Within looking at my relationship with technology I uncovered an interesting believe system. Since long time ago I could see and understand the necessity to become an active participant in this world system where within that I would speak and write about relevant issues that we all as humans face to thus be able to see the problem, place it in a clear understandable way and within that find the necessary solutions. So this process required self-honesty where I had to be dead open about who I am within this reality, how I exist in relation to other beings and the world system in general. So basically this whole process required certain courage to expose myself and the world system for what it is and basically I had to take direct action and actually do it.
However instead of actually doing it I created a believe within myself that I need certain technological gadgets to effectively express myself, present the message, push myself into the audience etc. However, not having means to acquire that, I was happily justifying my inaction and thus made my goal to first get the things that I apparently needed. The point of realization came when I was in possession of everything I desired where within that I finally saw that it was only me all along. I was upgrading myself with outside possessions while inside of myself I was still the same fearful being unwilling to act, unwilling to put myself out there with whatever means I did have and I mean I really had all I actually needed. So all I was doing is effectively bullshittiting myself. Some time ago I even had an this interesting experience which remained with me and was always there in the background reminding me that I was fooling myself but yet I refused to acknowledge that. I met a guy who was extremely interested in making music and when I heard his songs I was really amazed of his talent. When I began communicating with him I found that the guy had bare minimum of means to realize his dreams and yet there he was presenting the final, and I mean really amazing creation. I found that the computer he had and worked with was basically ancient where he could produce only limited sounds and perhaps no editing whatsoever, he also told me how he used various pots and tubes in his basement to get a bigger variety of sounds for his music. So it was really amazing being who was directly proving to me the foolishness of my believe and yet I held on to this believe convincing myself that this is really what I need.
Then when I looked at for example the well-known movement “Venus Project” I saw that they exist in the same believe system where they work towards some technological advancement somewhere in the future instead of actually seeing what is here already and how we can utilize that which we already have. It’s like they believe, that technology will save the world not realizing that technology will not make any difference because the problem is within us. Apparently technology will give us the power to become self-honest – not at all, technology can only enhance who we already are but in no way it will change us.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that more technology is the answer to my problems as the limitations that I exist in and as
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that my actual limitations are my thoughts, feelings and emotions that I constantly and continually exist in and as and that no technology as the outside source can change me unless I change myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that technology is only a tool that can enhance my expression as who I am
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the idea of needing technology to change myself as a justification to not face myself as what I have become as the miserable abdicator of all responsibility to an outside source
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that no technology is able to give me self-honesty and common sense
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that self-honesty is the key where within that I will be able to utilize commons sense and find means to express myself with what I already have and will stop living in the future
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fool myself so effectively that I have missed all the beings who were standing as examples of how to move oneself effectively with just minimum amount of technology
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that people glorifying technology perceive it as some kind of GOD that will solve all problems of this world without taking self-responsibility as the true creators of this existence
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the real change is required within our relationships with this world and each other where we exist in complete separation from one another and this physical reality
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that once we sort our relationships with each other and realize our equality and oneness as who we really are where within that we realize the necessity of having to support ourselves as another equally within this physical practical reality then we can utilize technology to enhance the effectiveness of the support we are willing to give to each other
I commit myself to stop my search for technology as the answer for breaking my limitations that I exist in and as realizing that I am the answer in each moment of breath
I commit myself to stop all justifications of why I cannot be an effective participant within this world system because I can actually see what lies behind each justification
I commit myself to live self-honesty as the actual tool to see all my self-deceptions
I commit myself to walk hand in hand with the group of people who stand for the real solution in this world and where they stand as examples of real self-movement without requiring any outside sources to change themselves
I commit myself to support myself through writing where I deprogram myself as all the delusional ideas I exist in and as where from here I correct myself to walk the path of live by all means available
I commit myself to expose the Techno God as the fake god within this existence
I commit myself to show that we are the real creators who are unwilling to see our creation and thus constantly being in search for solutions outside ourselves