Day 57: Addiction to Sport

 

European championship of soccer is already producing its first victims, which I mean is inevitable because we have two teams playing of which one has to win and another has to lose. And surely we have plenty of stupid people who have identified themselves so much with their favorite teams that when a team loses they travel straight to hell experiencing anger, despair and other emotions. I was rather surprised to see my colleagues become so possessed with the game, where for a moment I thought that they are joking, but I was wrong, the disappointment was genuine and genuinely effecting their state of being.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to identify myself with my favorite team to the extent where I feel really bad when they lose the game

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry and irritated when my favorite team loses where within experiencing these emotions I become inconsiderate towards other beings and can even hurt them, especially if they are the supporters of the opposite team

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see the opponents of my favorite team as my enemy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am addicted to the energy as the friction within the clash of two opposing forces where I always expect to be on the positive side of the energy movement because strangely enough I consider that this is what live is about

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have become complete slave because of my addiction to this energy where I become utterly blind to the actual reality around me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within that addiction to energy support and defend the existence of sport events despite the evidence of the extensive amount of separation they cause among people

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the violence and abuse that this separation causes

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see what price is this world paying for the existence of these sport events where vast amount of valuable resources are wasted instead of being used to improve the deteriorating condition of this planet and most beings within it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore all the information that shows the negative effects of having these sport events because I am completely dead within myself and require something to give me energy to make me feel “alive”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that existing as energy moving between polarities of positive and negative is life where I am not able to see that I am a mere robot who can be influenced by simple event as the losing team within a soccer game

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize my limited reality within acceptance of myself as energy requiring being moving only back and forth between energetic experiences that are produced within me by outside sources of which I have no control thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I am completely dependent on the outside events which can easily move me and thus I am unable to trust myself or be trustworthy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that there is enormous mechanisms created by the elite of this world to control people’s feelings and emotions thus if I define myself according to energy I am able to be controlled and manipulated

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see that I am completely brainwashed as I cheer, scream and shout while watching some guys kicking the ball on the ground and where specific outcomes of which I have no control over can induce specific experiences within me of which I also have no control thus I am simply a puppet blinded by my addiction

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that this add-dick-tion is like a dick with which I am fucking myself and where only when I get to negative experience I see that I have been fucked – yet still I will not do anything about it because I hope that I will have better luck next time as the positive self-fucking feels so good

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let half of the world starve while I keep searching for a positive fuck experiences never realizing that I am participating in the polarity game where I will never be whole within me as the actual physical living being that I am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that my participation in emotions and feelings is sucking my body dry as I use my body’s resources to generate this energy – exactly the same way as the competitive sport events use earth’s resources as well as physical slave labour to generate energy (money) – thus we are sucking dry this physical reality just to create energetic experiences that never last but leave us wanting for more and more – where we are actually going deeper and deeper into the separation from each other so that we could generate greater energetic frictions to generate more energy – and so we continue until we die/until this earth goes extinct – and can we say at the end that we have lived or were we completely blind to what is here as this amazing physical existence

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose my relationship with my physical body and this physical reality where I cannot even understand and comprehend how my body functions, I am not able to communicate to animals, plants other physical manifestation – because I am always in my mind seeking for energy fix that I believe is living

 

I commit myself to stop all my addictions to energy so I would no longer be controlled by outside events of which I have no control over and within that find stability of myself where I become unmovable by any external experiences and where I am always the same yesterday, today and tomorrow – thus within this clarity and stability of myself I am the one who make directive decisions, where I am no more a dead zombie slave to energetic movements

I commit myself to show and expose the consequences of participating in and as energy where I can prove mathematically the amount of abuse and violence that is done in the name of energetic experiences

I commit myself to show that being in and of energy is not living but it’s simply an addiction through which one is controlled and enslaved until the day the body as the energy source dies

I commit myself to start my journey from energy addictions towards life as my physical reality where I slowly but surely identify and release all my addictions to energy and I return to this physical reality to thus be able to reconnect myself to what is here as the living flesh as all physical manifestations on this earth

 

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