Day 69: No more posponement

 

I have allowed myself to give myself a moment of rest just to see the consequence of that action. The point of rest if it’s not in the breath is nowhere else but in the mind – it’s not really a rest but an active and deliberate allowance to give the direction to the mind and make its grip on me harder and stronger. There is a gift in that which can be utilized because I see the consequence and thus it’s my responsibility to make sure that I never again lean back on myself. I have noticed within myself that I enter this experience always when I am close to changing myself, where I am close to realization and instead of allowing myself to take the gift of life I sabotage myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear absolute commitment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to hold on to MY moments of “freedom” not realizing that I am holding on to my limitations

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the unknown and resist walking into it even though the known is killing me as who I am as life

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to stand in commitment to life as equal to my physical body where I can learn from my body of how to stand in absolute commitment to sustain life where the whole body as all the organs do not ever go into rest but work all together as one and equal to make life happen

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that this world has never been in a worse condition and urgently require everyone who is able to hear the simple message of Desteni and contribute to the simplistic and obvious solution of Equal Money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that postponing doing things I compromise the whole groups walking as well as the health of my physical body where after a moment postponement I desire to catch up with myself and I stay up longer thus deprive my body of the actual physical rest that it requires daily

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize I do not require anymore the proof of the destructiveness of being in the mind and thus any postponement of self-application is deliberate avoidance to face myself which is unacceptable in any way whatsoever

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself instead of standing up in the moment and making the decision to change and let go of the past

I commit myself to no longer allow myself to give myself the moments of rest where the rest is in the mind and deliberate avoidance to facing myself as what I have become

I commit myself to organize my days in utmost specificity where at the end of the day I would know that I have done my part as a member of the group that is standing up for life

When and as I see myself entering the moments of distraction I stop myself and remember my decision that I have made to stand as life from the limitations of the mind