I am grateful to all my failures in life because that is exactly what brought me to the point of questioning my reality. It’s the failures that made me fail at becoming a perfect slave in this system. It’s the failures that pushed me to seek the real answers to why so many have to fail in the world of plenty.
I could never find a reason to succeed where it wasn’t difficult to see that success within the current system is obtained through inflicting great suffering on many beings. I couldn’t force myself to drive myself over the heads of many towards the achievement of success. And so I have developed throughout time the failure character where I hopelessly tried to find a harmless way to achieve some form of fulfillment. Not finding any real solution to my existence I simply remained as this failure character where I simply lived to survive within further hope that I will find some way. This failure character became rather prominent influencing all parts of my existence where each opportunity was sabotaged through this failure character.
I became “the crooked tree that is of no use to the woodsman”. That was my major escape plan without ever realizing that I was escaping from myself as who I am as the woodsman himself. I have isolated myself into a separate part within the totality of existence not realizing that I am here together with all the other parts existing in interconnected oneness. Trough denying the “negative” side of “life” and choosing the “good” side I was simply placing myself into a position of powerlessness and thus basically slavery. I have fallen into the trap of failure where within this system it is necessary to have failure in order for the success to exist.
So, now, after realizing the stupidity of my choices, yet being grateful for them, I am on the path to bring myself back together as all the parts as “good” and “bad” to thus be able to stand equal to the totality of the current system as what I have become and change as it. But here I am faced with my flesh as the recording device that imprinted deeply into me the memory of constant failure. Our bodies are mostly water and as it has already been proven by scientists water has memory thus making it possible to program the water that we exist as – so here and comes my self-programing of being the failure.
So, at the moment in my reality I am facing this character that is based within these memories of failure and even though within my life I am making new choices to not allow this character to influence my reality it is still seeping through and making undesirable adjustments to the new script of my life, which doesn’t include failure. And that is because I have not faced my failure character before, I have not understood or investigated the process of the creation of this character and I have not forgiven myself for bringing this character into existence, thus it’s here screaming and shouting for attention constantly reminding me about the purpose of its being.
To be continued