Day 95: ‘Cautious’ character

 

Looking back at my day and seeing the character that was in control this evening – ‘cautious’ character. Being in it I see that I have assumed things about another person and thus became very cautious in approaching him instead of being here and directly communicating to the person to find out what is happening. I did eventually approach the person and found that he was undergoing a lot of stress, yet I have wasted a lot of time and created unnecessary backchat that was obviously already influencing my interaction with him. My ‘cautious’ character is very fearful of possible reactions and the possibility of conflict situation thus waiting for perfect moment to initiate the movement.

‘Cautious’ character is basically a time waster where within waiting for the perfect moment I usually don’t get the things done at all. I create plenty of justification to support my ‘cautious’ character, saying “just look how well waiting for the perfect moment turned out to be in the end”, “it’s not really important/relevant for me at the moment”, where within that I do not take into account the missed moments/opportunities. It’s total lack of self-direction where hope still exists that things will come up on their own and where I just have to wait for the right moment to take action. And yes there are situations where patience is required, yet when I am in my ‘cautious’ character I know that I have to act and yet I don’t.

Where I grew up we had a saying “measure nine times and then cut on the tenth”. So it’s obviously too much and now I can see how much of living I have missed through this – and interestingly enough people within my reality justified this saying very effectively where they collected all the examples of failure saying “yes, that’s what happens when you are not cautious and haven’t measured well your actions” and surely these are people who live mediocre lives, never taking a single risk out of enormous fear of making mistakes. I am not saying that one has to jump blindly on every occasion, yet it is through mistakes that we learn where each time we correct our movements to ensure the desired outcome. Looking at lives of successful people one can see many mistakes on the way and yet through persistence, perseverance and never giving up things get accomplished.

So through living ‘cautious’ character I haven’t allowed myself to just go for that what I know would assist and support me in self-expansion and growth. Instead of developing trust in myself and my ability to act in the moment where I remain here within my breath and dealing effectively with whatever comes my way I have placed trust in my ‘cautious’ character where in time it proved itself to be “effective” yet not realizing the potential that is lost and that is here within the application of directive self-movement.

‘Cautious’ character operates based on memories of the past through thinking – thus obviously within that I will always remain within that which is known to me and I will not grow beyond what I know and who I am. Thus it’s important to move in the moment as breath into the unknown with self-trust and without allowing time for the ‘cautious’ character to decide and measure the course of actions which will only be based on past experiences/calculations. ‘Cautious’ character is like a prison with certain rules and regulations according to which the movement is initiated. Anything beyond the “prison walls” is considered an unsafe zone and thus I will not move while existing in this character.

To be continued

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