Day 96: “Cautious” Character – continued

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a “cautious” character within myself that “protects” me from making mistakes without realizing that mistakes are ok within the learning process

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that existing within and as “cautious” character I am assessing every situation based on my past experiences and thus I limit my process of expansion to not go beyond that which is known to me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine a variety of scenarios of how things can go wrong if I initiate some action where within that I enter my “cautious” character which starts its calculation process trying to figure the best way to proceed – yet all these calculations are based on the past knowledge that is already useless within current living moment

Here I want to demonstrate one event of my “cautious” character in action: Some time ago I wanted to meet my employment agency manager to talk about the possibilities for a new job. I tried to contact him yet not receiving a reply I went directly to the office without prior notification. Still I met the guy and we had a cool discussion about the existing possibilities. So now, after some time, I want to meet the guy again – and this is the place where my “cautious” character stepped in – making calculations of what’s the best way to do it – should I have a phone call conversation or a live visit? Should I notify about my visit or just visit unexpectedly? I will not show the whole process of decision making but it’s truly extensive process of trying to figure out the ideal way to have a simple conversation. I have gathered a lot of information from other people and their experiences to figure the most effective way to approach this point. And most of that information is just opinions that are full of anger/judgment/resentment thus making my “cautious” character even more cautious.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make such a big deal out of simple point – having a conversation with my manager about possible work opportunities

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have created and cemented an idea within myself of what I want to get from my manager thus closing myself down from all the other possibilities that are here – and within this also manifesting a hardness within myself/my expression

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to call my “cautious” character to assist me in calculating and approaching the situation – not realizing that the caution exists because of the fear of not getting what I want

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in a fixed idea based on self-interest where within that fear/resistance is created towards initiating action instead of correcting my starting point where I make sure that what I am trying to achieve serves not only my own interest but is in the interest of all life equally

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that until fear exists within me to move myself towards manifesting my goals I am still existing as self-interested personality

 

I commit myself to be open and move myself within self-trust in accomplishing my goals always ensuring that my starting point of all my actions is what is best for all

I commit myself to remove the fear of making mistakes realizing that mistakes are part of the learning process and with each mistake I correct myself to ensure my self-expansion and effectiveness within all tasks that I do

I commit myself to let my past go and live life here as a living being where each moment is new and where I remain in breath and trust myself that I will act/correct myself always in a way that is best for all

I commit myself stop participation in my backchat where I create different scenarios of how things can go wrong and instead I focus on breathing and remaining here in each moment realizing that only here I have the power to direct myself

I commit myself to stop my limited mind which constantly and continuously gets fixated on certain ideas and instead remain HERE, open and aware of all the myriad of possibilities that exist in my reality – where within that I will utilize my physical body as a cross-reference point seeing/observing any tension/rigidity/stiffness arising as an indication that I have gone into a fixed idea and closed myself down from reality and all the opportunities that are here for me

I commit myself to not stop and walk all the way towards placing myself in a position where I can best support myself within current system and thus ensure maximum capacity and responsibility to make a difference in this reality by contributing to the world that is best for all

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