Day 97: “Postponement” Character

Ok here I want to re-look at my pattern of writing daily blogs where each day it’s a time of the day that I do not look forward to, but resist starting writing and investigating myself – I am constantly struggling to pick the topic and write about it. And then even when I see a point to write about I am still struggling within writing – so this basically shows me that I am still split within myself where I am having some alternative ideas of what it is I would rather be doing. Because when there is nothing else but the decision to write without any distracting thoughts – it should be easy – where I am fully here within the point of investigation, uncovering myself and seeing into myself, getting to know myself more intimately.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am the one that Decides whether the tasks I have to do will be difficult or I can actually get fully and totally into it, become it and just do it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not notice the thoughts that come up within me and distract me from writing and being here

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to investigate my behavior before and during writing where I can clearly see how I am distracting myself from being totally focused here – and within that investigation identify the behavior that is not supportive and make sure that when I catch myself going for it – I stop and bring myself back here to what I am doing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I cannot slow myself down to the point where I can see the thoughts emerging and taking me on a ride away from here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question my thoughts but allow them to come and convince me that I have to follow them and thus each time when I sit down to write I get carried away with dozens of different things before I finish my writing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate a negative energetic polarity charge to the idea of writing a blog and writing itself and whenever this idea arises or whenever I begin to write – I exist as a polarity equation within the negative side where I constantly and continuously seek to uplift myself to the positive – so I am constantly pulling myself away from writing by having thoughts of what it is that could give me the positive experience

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that until I allow myself to participate in thoughts I will always create energetic experiences – thus never being stable here, a place where I can trust myself to finish whatever it is that I am doing

 

I commit myself to, before embarking on the task of writing, make a complete decision within myself to fully be here and give all of my attention to writing – where within that I leave no back doors for the mind to wonder into different possibilities of what I could do instead

I commit myself to utilize breathing to slow myself down to thus be able to see the movement of thoughts – as it is from the thoughts that my “postponement” character gets triggered/initiated – where it goes into backchat and then physical expression

I commit myself to investigate all the ways and methods that my mind utilizes for distraction so that I could flag them and become aware of their emergence  – and thus be able to stop/delete them

I commit myself to break the negative charge association I have assigned to writing and within that realize that i can actually enjoy writing as it is the expression of me and here I can allow myself to expand myself within different styles and ways of expression

 

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2 comments on “Day 97: “Postponement” Character

  1. Arvydas, I suggest to make self-corrective commitment and/or self corrective statement of every self-forgiveness, to stablish self-direction within and as a specific point with the specific self-realization. Thanks for share.

    Greetings.

  2. […] I set out to do initially — which was my blog for the day, but instead, exist in the “postponement character” resisting to do my blog, and rather navigate through Facebook, and edit my website — […]

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