Day 99: “It’s too complicated” character

Yes, this one shows it’s ugly head usually when I am writing and taking on some point within my reality. Usually before I start writing I try to see the point and understand it, but which actually ends up only with lots of thinking about it – and that’s where the “It’s too complicated” character comes in – obviously as the consequence of over-thinking. I find it difficult to remain on the chosen topic in my writings where I start shifting between various dimensions, seeing different connections and interrelations of the point that I initially started to work with. I can compare this experience with doing a research on Google for example where I sit down to do a research on a specific keyword and after I get the results on my screen I tend to get distracted and often I just Google myself away into various directions, researching different topics completely forgetting about the initial point of investigation.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get distracted by my thoughts that come to “assist” me when I am investigating a specific point in my reality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to run ahead in my thoughts when I am writing about a point where I lose track of where I am actually in my writing which shows that I have separated myself from here into my mind reality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of the thinking process within the belief that I cannot possible operate without my thoughts

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep forgetting the breathing application to assist myself with slowing down to be able to have a choice – to not participate in my complicated thinking processes and just be here in the darkness of my being where all the shit shines clearly for me to see and investigate

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my speedy mind through believing I need it to be able survive within my current lifestyle – which is lots of traveling and meeting many new people

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when events/situations in my life move at a rapid pace I am not able to slow myself down and thus within that I manifest a waiting mode within me saying that first I will slow down my external reality and only then I’ll be able to slow down within

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that my external reality doesn’t move fast in fact but it’s only my perception that it does because I allow myself to participate in my mind where I fill all the gaps of my physical participation with thinking, keeping myself preoccupied with bullshit until some real physical moment brings me back here for a moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep myself preoccupied within my thoughts where I perceive that being here within breath as awareness of my physical environment to be boring in comparison to what I am able to do in my mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the absolute stupidity of participating in my thoughts that have nothing to with practical reality where I just act out my imaginary characters where in the meantime the actual real physical world with real physical characters is ignored and abandoned

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that physical reality is not complicated when it is viewed from simple common sense practical perspective and that it is only the mind that creates the maze where each is lost in their own worlds unable to find a way home

 

Thus I commit myself to through patience walk my way home towards physical existence out of the maze of my mind and develop the skills on the way to be able to show others who are willing to stop the madness of the mind how to do the same

I commit myself to stop the entertainment as my thinking process and face the actual reality no matter how unpleasant I find it to be within realization that there is no way that fantasies of the mind can ever become life

I commit myself to realize that physical reality does not move fast in fact but that it is my mind that gives the perception of speed as the mind functions in quantum time

I commit myself to stop the character “It’s too complicated” realizing that it is my participation in the mind that makes things complicated and thus I utilize breathing to distance myself from the madness of the mind and consider the simplicity of practical living

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s