It is suggested that we do not communicate to people when we are emotional towards them, where it is obvious that this way of communication will not clear the points but rather create more friction and disagreement. So I have been using this point as a way to not deal with any conflict situation arising in my reality where I immediately go into this character of justifying why I cannot deal with the situation
“I am emotional thus it’s better to not speak or do anything in this state of mind, so I should wait, clear my mind, see the point and then direct it”.
So yeah all sound clear and cool here, but the trick is that I rarely get to the second part – directing the point – because it seems I never get out of that emotionally reactive state.
So here another contributing player in this game is my “postponement” character that takes the lead when I, as the responsible physical human being, should be directing my reality by actually slowing myself down within any conflicting situation that I experience in my reality, and investigating, dissecting it to understand how it happened and then what is the course of actions that must be taken to direct the situation in a way that is best for all.
Another point that is repeating within this scenario is that I consider myself to be right where within that “blaming” character also plays a part and so instead of looking for ways to resolve the situation I leave it as is because within that I am validated and I can remain a winner. Whereas when I see myself as the one who is responsible for the situation, where I see that I have made some mistake or was dishonest – then I will direct it and act because I do not want to remain within a loser’s position.
Within this it’s rather difficult to consider and view the situation and people within it as equals and work together to resolve the situation in a way that is best for all. The mind likes to be right and enjoys remaining in the apparent winning position – yet not realizing within this the separation and competition that is being perpetuated.
Self-forgiveness to follow…
Artwork by Marcus Destonian Duffy
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