Day 131: DESTENI Character – Self-Forgiveness / Commitments (Part1)

Continuation from

Day 130: stopping self-sabotage

Day 129: The Desteni Character

 

Fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being part of Desteni message and create of it something more than it really is – as walking the process of stopping illusionary mind reality and becoming practical, physical human being that recognizes equality and oneness with everything that exists here – instead I made Desteni group into special place of higher beings that are above common people and thus I had to find ways how to belong to this group to so escape from the normal existence of common man and also become special like them where within that I was already perceiving myself as special and thus separate from others in my world and reality that I perceived as common/mediocre and so within that I was completely missing the actual message of Oneness and Equality that Desteni begins as

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I might not be able to understand the Desteni message and thus end up on the outskirts of the Desteni group where within that my starting point of movement was mechanically complying and doing what the group was doing in order to belong to the group where I did not live the realizations as myself, was not seeing for myself, wasn’t trusting myself and within that wasn’t taking self-responsible actions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the message of self-responsibility where I have seen how far I have gone to become absolute follower of the system being in absolute petrification to stand outside the system and direct myself as myself as life in each moment of breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within that fear walk in the background in HOPE that I will magically change and stand up without making directive decisions to actually do it and so become visible where I state to the world in absolute self-trust who I am and what I stand for

So my fear was basically the fear of not living up to my ideas that I created about who I must be within the group of Desteni, the process. Later however all my ideas about people of Desteni and process itself were shattered once I visited the farm and found what simplicity of practical living really is. I was really glad when all this weight of trying to sustain my imaginary characters was off and I could just be. So that basically revealed how I was taking the Desteni material and hearing it through the eyes of fear and desire, not seeing, realizing and understanding the totality and the simplicity of the message.

So within that I commit myself to remove any and all ideas about what process is, who the people within process are and thus concentrate on myself where I ensure that I take self-responsibility to stop participation in my mind and so I get back to physical reality where I realize the simplicity of living here as the flesh of the earth and where I work together with other physical beings as an equal participant to establish living conditions that support all beings equally

When and as I see fears arising within me as thoughts and considerations about who I am in relation to Desteni – I stop and I breathe. I realize that any fear indicates separation from myself here into the mind reality and thus I require to identify the fear, release the fear and walk the simple process of physical participation ensuring that the physical reality becomes the primary consideration, as the source of all live of all beings on earth

Thought

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that since I was so lucky to find Desteni I will be magically elevated into a special place beyond the boredom of common existence

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that now I will learn how to enter dimensions and so become a special being with special powers where I will be able to influence all the beings in my world to join in me on this journey to life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss myself within my ideas and projections about who I want to be and become

I commit myself to walk the process within realization that everything exists within me and that it’s here from where I create the outer reality of this world and thus I place all my attention into my inner experiences ensuring that I walk the process of self-purification understanding how the process of creation operates and how to direct myself from the new starting point ensuring that all my creation considers all live equally

 

Imagination

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine myself becoming an extraordinary human being that is able to take on anything and anyone in this world and this reality without any understanding of what it actually means and what are the practical steps that need to be walked to become a voice in this system that we all have created without any understanding

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that my imagination was coming from the unwillingness to actually look at myself as the extreme limitation that I have allowed myself to exist in and as and thus I was for a moment escaping into the imaginary world to feel better/superior to myself as who I have become

I commit myself to stop imagination and see myself for who I am and thus become friends with myself and walk with myself hand in hand towards self-perfection which means becoming a real living being existing in real reality instead of the alternate mind reality regardless of how beautiful alternate reality looks like – it’s still imagination and fantasy thus not real and will not stand in the face of actual reality which at the moment is not beautiful – yet I am willing to see it and take responsibility for it within understanding that I played my part in creation and have to stop this play and so become real

 

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