Day 132: DESTENI Character – Self-Forgiveness / Commitments (Part2)

 

Backchat

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the backchat within me that was fueling self-interest and self-glorification in regards to me being a part of Desteni group where I perceived myself to be a better human being and so separating myself from the rest of humanity into my alternative mind creation of superiority and thus making myself completely ineffective member of society with no ability to stand equal to others and thus make any practical change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to search for weaknesses in the actions of Desteni group members so that I could elevate myself into a “safe” position within the group believing I am better/superior and thus a worthy member- within that not realizing that having any type of judgment/backchat about another completely invalidates my position as a worthy member of group that is walking a path of stopping all relationships that do not support the life on earth and who work to create a new path based on self-honesty at all times

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep my backchat hidden and well protected from others within the believe that in some cases my backchat is justified – not seeing, realizing and understanding within that how I am actually suppressing myself and so accumulate the fear of expressing myself in any way because I fear that my backchat will start seeping through my actions – so I have to remain in control at all times and defend who I believe I am as the character of the mind system

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that most of my backchat comes because of lack of physical actions where through observing others moving physically and doing necessary tasks in physical reality I start comparing and judging myself as less than and so as a counter reactive action I begin the backchat session within me to uplift myself and feel better about myself and so become worthy in my eyes – so within this I commit myself to make sure that I move myself actually, physically in my world and my reality where I get to know the actual physical relationships that exist here, I get to know my reality as it is and so within that see the necessary solutions that I could contribute as an equal member of the group that is actually/physically working to bring a change

 

Reactions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to other destonians when and as they perform physical actions that are met with approval by others where within that I start comparing myself and experiencing jealousy towards them and so I begin to asses my own situation/position within the group in terms of my contributions trying to find something so that I could still call myself a destonian in fear of falling out

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize my responsibility for life and act from the realization that I have to move for myself as myself instead of being driven by my mind to sustain my ideas of who I am as a destonian character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty for not doing and participating within all group activities within that not realizing that the guilt trip that I am taking myself into is making me even more ineffective and thus more guilt is experienced

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that any reaction within me is revealing that I am already accessing a character within myself where as shown above this reactive experience is fueling that character even more to the point where I believe it is real, it’s who I am instead of realizing the uselessness of participating in these reactions and making immediate decision to stand up within myself and apply immediate correction

I commit myself to watch closely all energetic movements within my body as various reactions where I become able to identify what it is that I am fueling through these reactions that I experience within me and from here make sure that I do no waste my time anymore in my mind but return to physical reality by practicing to remain here in and as my breath where I correct my living application in most practical ways

 

Advertisements

One comment on “Day 132: DESTENI Character – Self-Forgiveness / Commitments (Part2)

  1. […] Day 132: DESTENI Character – Self-Forgiveness / Commitments (Part2) […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s