Day 144: Background Noise – be gone!!!

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distract myself through a variety of background noises that I create to not hear the “silence” of me inside myself in the form of thoughts, backchats that I exist in and as on a daily basis

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist looking directly into myself and so create a variety of background noises as backdoors that I use in the moments when I see something I don’t like to see

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my mind reality as bad/negative and thus whenever I tap into it I start searching for the opposite polarity and so here I go into this background noise that serves as the positive polarity where I can balance the equation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that there is no escaping who I am and that having these backdoors is only delaying the process of facing me and also making it more difficult as more layers in time are created through the consequence of avoidance/postponement

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize and see my lack of willingness to change and resistance to destroy the comfort zone that I have created for myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how I am moving endlessly between the polarities of positive and negative being completely dependent on my moods that define me and my whole participation in my reality instead of becoming a being that is always HERE stable, breathing in awareness and always moving in absolute self-direction making choices that honor life in all ways

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how by allowing a single thought of self-distraction and then actual participation in it is producing a pattern which is now easier and easier to fall into – if it is not stopped in the moment of its birth

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to slowly but surely make something, that does not support me as life, make ok and then wait for the consequence/prove to show me what I am doing instead of stopping the pattern right now and here so avoiding the consequence as much as possible

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how my existence with such patterns reflects the whole state of humanity where we all realize and understand what are we doing to ourselves and this planet yet we continue within ignorant bliss until shit hits the fan and we are all fucked for good

 

I commit myself to investigate all the backdoors that I have built  for myself and within finding one implement the tools of deletion to thus move myself to the only place worth moving myself which is self-honesty in every breath

I commit myself to stop the judgment of myself as negative or positive to thus ground myself here and become stable in my everyday living where I move through self-made decisions that are best for life not being directed by the mind energy

I commit myself to realize that any decision for life that I find difficult to make will be even more difficult if I postpone or delay it

I commit myself to realize that when I do not stop the core patterns of self-interest that I am allowing in my reality I will experience consequences that will continue to manifest and distract my attention from any real change

I commit myself to stand tall in front of all people that I meet in my reality and be the prove of possible change

 

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2 comments on “Day 144: Background Noise – be gone!!!

  1. […] Day 144: Background Noise – be gone!!! (arvydasjourney.wordpress.com) Share this: Pin ItShare on TumblrPrintDiggEmailLike this:LikeBe the first to like this. […]

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