Day 167: Integrating new responsibilities

 

I noticed the initial resistance when something new appears in my life regarding some responsibilities as tasks that require constant attention and dedication. This was true almost with every little thing that appeared in my life where I immediately had a reaction to it. And this reaction was always before I have made any investigation, any assessment in relation to time or the complexity of the task or anything. I have immediately used an assumption about the task and myself in relation to the task. It’s amazing to see how I get myself into a comfort zone and have this resistance to break out of it not realizing that it is limiting me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist integrating new things into my daily schedule not realizing that I am limiting myself not allowing any expansion and growth learning and understanding about this reality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear breaking my routine to which I grew accustomed not trusting myself that I can handle more responsibilities

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not good enough to get any new responsibilities within the perception that I am not managing effectively what I already have on my plate

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to manage effectively my daily schedule where I write on a piece of paper in specificity the exact tasks/assignments that have to be done instead of trying to keep the lists of duties in my mind not realizing that through this I am giving too much space for error in terms of forgetting some things and thus not being effective in my overall living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I haven’t yet developed my mind to be a reliable companion in my day to day living therefore a piece of paper with listed daily tasks is a necessity

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself on this point of organizing my day effectively about which I have already written and made commitments but have never lived that to the point of absolute integration

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wake up each morning and use my mind to determine my day in big part according to my mood that I have that day instead of it being a stable list of responsibilities that I commit myself to no matter what mood I have

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I doom myself by allowing myself to live according to my moods

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am still living the construct of free choice believing that I can choose what will I do with my time not realizing my absolute responsibility as a being that is part of this existence where I have seen without a shadow of a doubt the extent of the problem that we as humanity are facing and the extent of commitment that must be taken in order to have any chance of stopping the automated, self-destructive path that we as all humanity are walking at an enormous speed

 

I commit myself to stop any idea of free choice and walk, if not yet with my own absolute realization in each moment of breath, then at least through having trust in the group that has proven itself over and over again with absolute commitment to life, and so I walk in alignment with the group learning from them how to care and how to life in a way that is best for all until I become equal in realization and effectiveness

I commit myself to realize that it is time to just STOP playing all mind games and become serious in my commitment to life where I no longer allow any distraction to avoid the responsibilities that I have as being a part of this world

I commit myself to become the designer and artist of each day where upon waking up I  challenge myself to structure  each of my days in the most effective manner where I meet my responsibilities that I already have as well as looking, finding and integrating new effective measures to grow and expand

 

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Creation’s Journey to Life

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