This is a continuation from yesterday’s blog on “I am not good enough” character which manifests itself within situations where I have to take action by making a decision to actively participate in my everyday reality. In this blog I am looking at the dimension of FEAR of this character seeing what fears are present as the points of origin for this character to exist.
Fear of being judged
Fear of making mistakes
Fear of confrontation/people
Fear of losing myself and that which I know
Fear of not being able to handle the truth of me
Fear of losing free choice
Fear of the responsibility
Fear of being judged
Self-forgiveness and self-corrective statement
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that my whole life I have been living in my mind where through constant thinking I have created and image of myself that I fear will be shattered when and as I begin to expose myself through active communication/interaction with other beings in my reality where it will be revealed who I really am in physical real world and I fear people will judge me for being a pretender as I know within me that I wasn’t always presenting a true picture of myself where I was trying to hide the total reality of me within the believe “I am not good enough”
I commit myself to when and as I find myself blocking my participation in my reality because of the fear of other people seeing me for who I am and judging me within that – I stop, I realize that it’s my own self-judgment coming out from the believe that “I am not good enough” which has nothing to do with other people and so within this realization I allow myself to unconditionally express myself from the starting point of taking full responsibility for what I will uncover about me and within that implement immediate self-corrective actions – basically, upon finding all parts of myself that are “not good” I correct these parts so they no longer cause self-judgment and the perpetuation of the believe that “I am not good enough”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have never actually given myself the opportunity to prove myself to myself by unconditionally allowing myself to express myself but always lived in fear of being judged
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I fear the judgment of others because I have judged other as well thus proving again Jesus’s words “Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged” and so I realize that there is no judgment but self-judgment
I commit myself to stop using other people to hide behind and within this realize my responsibility in actually getting to know me through “other people” as they all represent parts of me that I have denied and separated myself from and through this act take absolute responsibility to deal with everything that comes up
to be continued
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Arvydas' Journey to Life 
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