Day 180: I am not good enough” character – backchat dimension (Part2)

 

 

This blog is a continuation within the series of blogs I am writing about “I am not good enough” character which manifests itself within situations where I have to take action by making a decision to actively participate in my everyday reality. In this blog I am looking at the dimension of backchat/inner conversations that manifest when I allow the character to continue.

Introductory Blog

 

Fear Dimension

Fear of being judged
Fear of making mistakes
Fear of confrontation/people
Fear of losing myself and that which I know
Fear of not being able to handle the truth of me
Fear of losing free choice
Fear of the responsibility

 

Thought dimension

Seeing myself in a situation that goes out of hand and I cannot control it
Seeing a picture that is “empty/blank”
Seeing a picture of myself where I am being screamed at/called out

 

Backchat dimension

How will people react when I change from being silent/introverted guy to suddenly being active in my participation
I just cannot start participating with people from my surroundings because the topics they discuss are useless and of pure self-interest
If I start participating/interacting actively I will have to sustain that and will not have the free time I used to have
I am not good at applying knowledge practically, I spent too much time just reading and listening to others
I just have to start doing it and it will work out
I do not have the critical thinking skills like others do, all I did was follow others thought out my life
*Here I will add more backchat if/when I find more during the process of writing 

 

Self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people for who they are within their words and deeds where within that I expect that people in my reality would speak common sense and apparently on then I will be able to join them in their discussions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize my responsibility to intervene into what is currently here as the all obsessive self-interest that people exist in and as and thus correct and direct what is here towards what is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to people talking nonsense thus revealing to myself that I am still allowing self-interest which I resist and deny within me where I am blaming and pointing fingers on others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am using this backchat as justification to not take action and thus remain in my comfort bubble fearful of causing any ripples by challenging what is here as that what people participate within in their realities

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear standing equal to people in my reality and thus being able to participate and influence what is here by finding ways and means to direct self-interest into interest of all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my non-participation by claiming that people are not ready to hear what I want to share within that showing to myself how I have created an idea of what needs to be shared instead of simply being here with people and expressing myself in self-honesty and thus simply being an example of change

I commit myself to stop all judgment towards people within realization that whatever reaction comes up within me when and as hearing people talk I am still not clear about this point within me and thus I go back to look what it is that I am still reacting to, what suppression s and resistances I still have and so I correct myself by writing, applying self-forgiveness and corrective application until there is no reaction left and I am able to participate with others in absolute stability no matter what is being discussed

I commit myself to remove any and all justifications I have to not take responsibility for what happens in my reality and so I become an active participant within all matters without exceptions where I am no longer afraid to “get my hands dirty”

Advertisements

15 comments on “Day 180: I am not good enough” character – backchat dimension (Part2)

  1. […] react when I change from being silent/introverted guy to suddenly being active in my participation I just cannot start participating with people from my surroundings because the topics they discuss a… If I start participating/interacting actively I will have to sustain that and will not have the […]

  2. […] react when I change from being silent/introverted guy to suddenly being active in my participation I just cannot start participating with people from my surroundings because the topics they discuss a… If I start participating/interacting actively I will have to sustain that and will not have the […]

  3. […] react when I change from being silent/introverted guy to suddenly being active in my participation I just cannot start participating with people from my surroundings because the topics they discuss a… If I start participating/interacting actively I will have to sustain that and will not have the […]

  4. […] react when I change from being silent/introverted guy to suddenly being active in my participation I just cannot start participating with people from my surroundings because the topics they discuss a… If I start participating/interacting actively I will have to sustain that and will not have the […]

  5. […] react when I change from being silent/introverted guy to suddenly being active in my participation I just cannot start participating with people from my surroundings because the topics they discuss a… If I start participating/interacting actively I will have to sustain that and will not have the […]

  6. […] react when I change from being silent/introverted guy to suddenly being active in my participation I just cannot start participating with people from my surroundings because the topics they discuss a… If I start participating/interacting actively I will have to sustain that and will not have the […]

  7. […] react when I change from being silent/introverted guy to suddenly being active in my participation I just cannot start participating with people from my surroundings because the topics they discuss a… If I start participating/interacting actively I will have to sustain that and will not have the […]

  8. […] react when I change from being silent/introverted guy to suddenly being active in my participation I just cannot start participating with people from my surroundings because the topics they discuss a… If I start participating/interacting actively I will have to sustain that and will not have the […]

  9. […] react when I change from being silent/introverted guy to suddenly being active in my participation I just cannot start participating with people from my surroundings because the topics they discuss a… If I start participating/interacting actively I will have to sustain that and will not have the […]

  10. […] react when I change from being silent/introverted guy to suddenly being active in my participation I just cannot start participating with people from my surroundings because the topics they discuss a… If I start participating/interacting actively I will have to sustain that and will not have the […]

  11. […] react when I change from being silent/introverted guy to suddenly being active in my participation I just cannot start participating with people from my surroundings because the topics they discuss a… If I start participating/interacting actively I will have to sustain that and will not have the […]

  12. […] react when I change from being silent/introverted guy to suddenly being active in my participation I just cannot start participating with people from my surroundings because the topics they discuss a… If I start participating/interacting actively I will have to sustain that and will not have the […]

  13. […] react when I change from being silent/introverted guy to suddenly being active in my participation I just cannot start participating with people from my surroundings because the topics they discuss a… If I start participating/interacting actively I will have to sustain that and will not have the […]

  14. […] react when I change from being silent/introverted guy to suddenly being active in my participation I just cannot start participating with people from my surroundings because the topics they discuss a… If I start participating/interacting actively I will have to sustain that and will not have the […]

  15. […] Day 180: I am not good enough” character – backchat dimension (Part2) […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s