Day 181: I am not good enough” character – backchat dimension (Part3)

 

 

This blog is a continuation within the series of blogs I am writing about “I am not good enough” character which manifests itself within situations where I have to take action by making a decision to actively participate in my everyday reality. In this blog I am looking at the dimension of backchat/inner conversations that manifest when I allow the character to continue.

Introductory Blog

 

Fear Dimension

Fear of being judged
Fear of making mistakes
Fear of confrontation/people
Fear of losing myself and that which I know
Fear of not being able to handle the truth of me
Fear of losing free choice
Fear of the responsibility

 

Thought dimension

Seeing myself in a situation that goes out of hand and I cannot control it
Seeing a picture that is empty/blank
Seeing a picture of myself where I am being screamed at/called out

 

Backchat dimension

 

How will people react when I change from being silent/introverted guy to suddenly being active in my participation
I just cannot start participating with people from my surroundings because the topics they discuss are useless and of pure self-interest
If I start participating/interacting actively I will have to sustain that and will not have the free time I used to have
I am not good at applying knowledge practically, I spent too much time just reading and listening to others
I just have to start doing it and it will work out
I do not have the critical thinking skills like others do, all I did was follow others thought out my life
*Here I will add more backchat if/when I find more during the process of writing 

 

Self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that within the statement “If I start participating/interacting actively I will have to sustain that and will not have the free time I used to have” I am actually implying that I do not want to change for real, but only want to change that which I do not like and keep that which I like, not realizing within this that the actual change is when I change completely because my likes are based on positive energetic experiences that inevitable generate negative consequences and so thus I am stuck in energy cycles never changing for real

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live self-dishonestly from the perspective that I claim words of change yet I do not apply and live these words by testing and sharing them in my physical reality not realizing that the change must be inside and outside, within and without, otherwise change is not real

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the only meaning the term “free time” that’s been used in this context has is self-interest because even when I realize that active participation in my reality is a necessity i still want to have my “free choice” to do other things instead of that which i do realize is what is best for all

I commit myself to identify and remove all the activities in my reality that carry within them positive energetic charge and so bring myself to stability where I clearly see what needs to be done for me to move effectively in this reality and bring an end to abuse and suffering that the ignorance of human mind produces

I commit myself to start living and applying through unconditional self-expression the message that I have been studying for so long but which I haven’t yet proven in every breath my standing with and as this message

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an idea about what it means to participate in my reality where I have defined that through self-judgment as being very difficult and thus within that I give up on myself before even trying

I commit myself to realign my worldview back into physical reality where I remove all preconceived knowledge and information that I have learned from those who went before me and test everything myself trough real physical actions

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13 comments on “Day 181: I am not good enough” character – backchat dimension (Part3)

  1. […] people from my surroundings because the topics they discuss are useless and of pure self-interest If I start participating/interacting actively I will have to sustain that and will not have the free… I am not good at applying knowledge practically, I spent too much time just reading and listening […]

  2. […] people from my surroundings because the topics they discuss are useless and of pure self-interest If I start participating/interacting actively I will have to sustain that and will not have the free… I am not good at applying knowledge practically, I spent too much time just reading and listening […]

  3. […] people from my surroundings because the topics they discuss are useless and of pure self-interest If I start participating/interacting actively I will have to sustain that and will not have the free… I am not good at applying knowledge practically, I spent too much time just reading and listening […]

  4. […] people from my surroundings because the topics they discuss are useless and of pure self-interest If I start participating/interacting actively I will have to sustain that and will not have the free… I am not good at applying knowledge practically, I spent too much time just reading and listening […]

  5. […] people from my surroundings because the topics they discuss are useless and of pure self-interest If I start participating/interacting actively I will have to sustain that and will not have the free… I am not good at applying knowledge practically, I spent too much time just reading and listening […]

  6. […] people from my surroundings because the topics they discuss are useless and of pure self-interest If I start participating/interacting actively I will have to sustain that and will not have the free… I am not good at applying knowledge practically, I spent too much time just reading and listening […]

  7. […] people from my surroundings because the topics they discuss are useless and of pure self-interest If I start participating/interacting actively I will have to sustain that and will not have the free… I am not good at applying knowledge practically, I spent too much time just reading and listening […]

  8. […] people from my surroundings because the topics they discuss are useless and of pure self-interest If I start participating/interacting actively I will have to sustain that and will not have the free… I am not good at applying knowledge practically, I spent too much time just reading and listening […]

  9. […] people from my surroundings because the topics they discuss are useless and of pure self-interest If I start participating/interacting actively I will have to sustain that and will not have the free… I am not good at applying knowledge practically, I spent too much time just reading and listening […]

  10. […] people from my surroundings because the topics they discuss are useless and of pure self-interest If I start participating/interacting actively I will have to sustain that and will not have the free… I am not good at applying knowledge practically, I spent too much time just reading and listening […]

  11. […] people from my surroundings because the topics they discuss are useless and of pure self-interest If I start participating/interacting actively I will have to sustain that and will not have the free… I am not good at applying knowledge practically, I spent too much time just reading and listening […]

  12. […] people from my surroundings because the topics they discuss are useless and of pure self-interest If I start participating/interacting actively I will have to sustain that and will not have the free… I am not good at applying knowledge practically, I spent too much time just reading and listening […]

  13. […] people from my surroundings because the topics they discuss are useless and of pure self-interest If I start participating/interacting actively I will have to sustain that and will not have the free… I am not good at applying knowledge practically, I spent too much time just reading and listening […]

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