Day 185: I am not good enough” character – reaction dimension (Part1)

 

 

This blog is a continuation within the series of blogs I am writing about “I am not good enough” character which manifests itself within situations where I have to take action by making a decision to actively participate in my everyday reality. In this blog I am looking at the dimension of reactions that manifest in my bode when this character is playing out.

Introductory Blog

 

Fear Dimension

Fear of being judged
Fear of making mistakes
Fear of confrontation/people
Fear of losing myself and that which I know
Fear of not being able to handle the truth of me
Fear of losing free choice
Fear of the responsibility

 

Thought dimension

Seeing myself in a situation that goes out of hand and I cannot control it
Seeing a picture that is “empty/blank”
Seeing a picture of myself where I am being screamed at/called out

 

Backchat dimension

How will people react when I change from being silent/introverted guy to suddenly being active in my participation
I just cannot start participating with people from my surroundings because the topics they discuss are useless and of pure self-interest
If I start participating/interacting actively I will have to sustain that and will not have the free time I used to have
I am not good at applying knowledge practically, I spent too much time just reading and listening to others
I just have to start doing it and it will work out
I do not have the critical thinking skills like others do, all I did was follow others throughout my life

 

Reactions

Guilt
Inferiority
Anxiety
Overwhelmingness
Depression
Expectation / Anticipation
Excitement

 

Self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a reactions of guilt within me when and as I am not pushing myself to participate effectively in my reality not realizing within that how through guilt I am trapping myself to remain within energetic possession in the mind losing touch with physical reality and thus any possibility to be effective within my actions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how by using guilt I am attempting to repent for what I did or didn’t do and so within that feel better about myself by feeling bad about myself instead of taking absolute responsibility for areas of my life where I am not effective and developing myself to the point where I am satisfied with who I am and how I move in my reality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that guilt comes from fear of doing mistakes and where in this fear I am locked in my mind constantly worrying about making mistakes and so within this fear I am not here walking in alignment with the physical being aware of my environment but in the mind trying to avoid mistakes and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the mind instead of being here realizing that only in breath I am able to walk responsibility and effectively ensuring that whatever I do is done properly with absolute accountability for my actions

I commit myself to within realizing that in and as guilt I am abdicating my responsibility for my actions and within that I commit myself to bring myself back to breath where I become aware of this pattern that I am accepting and allowing and so I direct myself towards practical solutions within my participation in my reality

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9 comments on “Day 185: I am not good enough” character – reaction dimension (Part1)

  1. […] Guilt Inferiority Anxiety Overwhelmingness Depression Expectation / Anticipation Excitement […]

  2. […] Guilt Inferiority Anxiety Overwhelmingness Depression Expectation / Anticipation Excitement […]

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  4. […] Guilt Inferiority Anxiety Overwhelmingness Depression Expectation / Anticipation Excitement […]

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  9. […] Guilt Inferiority Anxiety Overwhelmingness Depression Expectation / Anticipation Excitement […]

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