Day 186: “I am not good enough” character – Reaction Dimension (Part2)

 

 

This blog is a continuation within the series of blogs I am writing about “I am not good enough” character which manifests itself within situations where I have to take action by making a decision to actively participate in my everyday reality. In this blog I am looking at the dimension of reactions that manifest in my bode when this character is playing out.

Introductory Blog

Fear Dimension

Fear of being judged
Fear of making mistakes
Fear of confrontation/people
Fear of losing myself and that which I know
Fear of not being able to handle the truth of me
Fear of losing free choice
Fear of the responsibility

Thought dimension

Seeing myself in a situation that goes out of hand and I cannot control it
Seeing a picture that is empty/blank
Seeing a picture of myself where I am being screamed at/called out

Backchat dimension

How will people react when I change from being silent/introverted guy to suddenly being active in my participation
I just cannot start participating with people from my surroundings because the topics they discuss are useless and of pure self-interest
If I start participating/interacting actively I will have to sustain that and will not have the free time I used to have
I am not good at applying knowledge practically, I spent too much time just reading and listening to others
I just have to start doing it and it will work out
I do not have the critical thinking skills like others do, all I did was follow others throughout my life

 

Reactions

Guilt
Inferiority
Anxiety
Overwhelmingness
Depression
Expectation / Anticipation
Excitement

 

Self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trigger within me the reaction of inferiority after I have allowed my fear of being judged to escalate and further continue to form thoughts and backchat that possessed me and influenced my practical living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe when and as I experience the reaction of inferiority that this is who I really and in this I miss the whole process of how I create this experience for myself by myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest the reaction of inferiority when and as I am approaching people and situations in my reality not realizing that I am creating this experience through my own choices breath by breath and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit and make my practical living more difficult instead of standing stable here in and as the physical where i am the same yesterday today and tomorrow and able to view my reality not through the interpretation of my mind but directly as it is

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within my interactions and participation with other people in my reality become either inferior or superior based on people’s external presentations, their status within the system instead of seeing beyond the veil of external suits that people wear and thus recognizing the equality of all as the physical that we actually are

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that being inferior is not so bad where in this way I can blame those who are apparently higher than myself because they are the ones in power making decision how the living is directed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that inferiority exist together and is depends on the existence of superiority thus by holding and being the living manifestation of one I am at the same time allowing the existence of another and thus I am perpetuating the separation and division

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that by placing myself into an inferior position in relation to others I give away all my power to make any change and thus remain a slave to those who claim the upper hand and makes all the decisions and so looking at the past and present history of this world  it is obvious that the decisions which have been/are made are clearly not for the benefit of all but only serving the self-interest of the decision makers

So I commit myself to realize that allowing myself to react to my environment within inferiority is actually an evil act because in this act I am allowing the current system of abuse to continue instead of me becoming an equal participant and contributing the thus world in best of my ability

I commit myself to upon seeing myself reacting within inferiority to people in my environment stop myself breathe and stabilize myself in the moment where I can see in that moment what are the consequences if I allow myself to further participate in inferiority and from here I awake myself to stand equal to my environment and thus be able to make the contribution to the best of my ability

 

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For more support of how inferiority/superiority construct  function listen to the following interview:

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8 comments on “Day 186: “I am not good enough” character – Reaction Dimension (Part2)

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