Day 202: Don’t leave anything to Chance

It took me many years to finally realize the importance of becoming very precise and specific in dealing with my world where nothing is left to chance and hope. I mean it’s simple when actually observe this reality and what has come of it – most of humanity including myself left it all in the hands of “God” to take care of our lives and as a consequence we are all fucked, God has tricked us big time. We tricked ourselves actually.

Now those who prosper and are well off in this current system didn’t fall into this trap and have taken the responsibility upon themselves to direct their lives. In my immediate environment I observe people and I can see how those doing well in the system act within their day to day interactions. Just some time ago I was judging them and defining them as too worrying and unnecessarily concerned about insignificant details, however, now I have realized that it’s the way that this system works, everything is in the details and being absolutely specific with every fracture of your reality is a requirement to get things done.

Most of my life I lived with subconscious believe that something or someone is up there taking care of me and all I have to do is move myself when and as the opportunities present themselves rather than ever taking the responsibility to create these opportunities for myself. That is why no big changes ever happened throughout my life and all I did was floating through this world simply reacting to the external events just waiting and hoping for something better to happen.

The process of realizing my miss approach was slow and I didn’t want to let go of this believe as it suited me well and essentially allowed me to have the “freedom” of remaining in the background playing my little role in this reality never taking upon myself the responsibility to change or direct things in any more radical way that would truly benefit myself and others in my reality.

Another big influence in this living approach of idle waiting for things to happen was my participation in spirituality where the main lesson to be learned there is positive thinking and the law of attraction. That again made me lose any interest in real action as I waited for things to manifest magically just by wishing for them. That of course didn’t work out well as I was always faced with reality where if I wanted to survive I had to actually do something, like find a job to make some money and buy the food for myself. No magic here – that is how reality functions.

Now I stand, after many wasted years of wishing and hoping, with myself as what I have allowed myself to become and I see a long road ahead towards correction.

I will write self-forgiveness for this allowance in my next blog as well as the necessary correction process to follow and so recreate myself to become a more responsible human being.

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