Day 221: What’s in it for ME? – the Reward System


The system of Rewards is something that is not really understood in our society and is gladly and ignorantly employed by parents as a tool to get the desired results in child behavior which, once imprinted, continues to dominate the behavior throughout ones lifespan.

Here I will write from my own experience because for many years now I am dealing with the consequences of being trained to operate primarily based on the system of rewards.

The primary reward that was used throughout my childhood years was sweets. I grew up in a house where there was no lack of candies, chocolates and other sweet things. There wasn’t abundance either – so basically I had to do something to get it. In the very beginning in order to get a candy I had to stop crying, later I had to sit still and be a good boy in order to receive my dose, then I was asked to clean my room, take the trash out and then come back to collect my reward. So basically I learned, through time, that each action I make must follow with a sweet reward boosting my pleasure system. And so that’s how I programmed myself to operate in this reality where any action not bringing me any instant reward would be resisted. Nobody ever really explained me real practical considerations within actions that one must perform as a requirement of this physical reality and the system we live in. It was easier just to make me a slave rather than responsible child.

Sure I can understand the parents that are not eager to spend a lot of time explaining to their children the functionality of our current system, as of course they don’t really understand it themselves, and so it’s much simpler to just give some quick reward and get what you want in an instant.

It’s interesting that parents have to first develop in their children the addiction and then keep them on this short leash acting as a drug dealer ensuring the supply of the substance is in their control. I mean science already has the full picture of how our bodies react to these kind of stimulants and it can be very well predicted how the person will develop through this kind of programming.

When I consume a piece of chocolate, when I get a new thing that I so desired, when I get an approval from others, when I masturbate on pornography, when I drink alcohol, when I am high on weed I get this surge of chemicals in my body creating this exalted experience in which I remain for a moment and then eventually, slowly I return back to earth, which doesn’t seem so cool anymore after this “sugar high”. In this my quest in life becomes to get and collect as many “good” experiences as possible —- which is what, like 2-3 % of total living? Ridiculous, predictable, ignored, accepted and allowed, limiting and very sad.

So that’s my story of how I was raised and how I learned to function in this reality. That’s what I call the spoiling, or to be more direct, abuse of a child. The consequences of this whole accepted way of living are now present in my life as an adult where the same pattern still exists and where each time that I perceive I am doing something as a requirement of living in this system I expect getting the reward. And it’s quite a process now to decrypt the deep seated programming.

And besides ALL that, within our society, we are constantly bombarded by messages about the insignificance of human being who is powerless and unable to change. The message is clear – remain a slave, we will provide you with “sugar”, at any cost you like, you’ll have enough till the end of your days.

That’s where I don’t agree and I say that the change is actually possible as it is already proven by multiple beings walking the process of real change at Desteni. For some it takes longer, others walk faster – yet the key of constant and consistent self-application is making it possible for everyone, to end the preprogrammed harm that is not supporting Self nor anyone else on this planet.


Visit the new “Desteni I Process Lite”course that has been launched recently for all those who are willing to understand,  in practical self-application, the reality of self

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