I found interesting pattern within me while interacting with my mother that I created far back and which is still influencing my behavior until this day. That is in relation to when I hear my mother speak in a certain tonality that is “definitive”, meaning that when she asks me something without giving me the “choice” but is simply stating what I have to do. Right here I will always enter my “rebellious” character no matter what the situation is. In that moment I act/respond automatically. If there is even a slight possibility that what she asks of me is not an absolute necessity from the practical perspective I will resist and go against her demands. The more she tries to persuade me the more resistance grows and there is no way back, even when during the “fight” I see the ridiculousness of the whole situation that could have been easily avoided through least of my efforts.
So within this I realize that surely my parents haven’t done a great job in bringing up me or any parents bringing up their children for that matter. In fact they have done only harm and abuse without ever understanding their actions or the consequences thereof. Still the cycles must be stopped and those who develop some awareness about the actual problems that we all face have the responsibility to pave a new path based on respect for each other and life as whole. That requires meticulous study about the functionality of the Mind and how to prevent the same happening over and over. I mean how many parents understand the simplistic point of, for example, choosing carefully words and tonality when interacting with their children, or the role of emotions and feelings in this relationship and how all that is shaping a child as a future participant in this world. I mean I have never heard that being discussed in the circles of parents or even in schools or anywhere. And yet all of that defines our whole living experience in this reality.
Talking to many people you hear the same story over and over – how their parents are the ones that are able to pull the right strings within them to evoke the deepest eruption of emotions. That is not a coincidence as the parent are the ones that shaped the personality patterns in the first place and so they are the ones that hold the passwords to reach the core. They know exactly the right words and tonalities to use to best manipulate their children. And it’s not really that they know it but it’s how it has been programmed and that’s what we all have become – simply robots that, without any awareness, react in predictable patterns. And so we continue within the same lines, based on the same beliefs and perceptions about the world and reality. None of which is reflecting any real care and understanding about the totality of our existence. It’s only a bunch of psychological distress manifesting in every family one way or another with no solution on sight to create a better, more caring offspring that would live a life that is best for all.
So what is the solution?
First of all it’s of course realizing that we have a problem, meaning that the realization has to come through about the fact that this reality, the future of it, is being shaped at home, through the introduction of each child into this reality in the first years. Thus it should become an actual requirement for all parents to study in most specificity the total psychology of how human mind operates before being allowed to bring a child into this world. At the moment nothing is preparing a future parent to face this responsibility and thus we have this “random” reality that is in absolute chaos where only a few are able to establish a comfortable existence while the majority are suffering excruciating pain by being neglected of even the most basic necessities of life.
When will this happen?
Once we break the ignorance, probably by experiencing further escalation of consequences, only then we can get to the core problems. At the moment those of us who still have sufficient money to cover our eyes and ears will not hear the cries and the need for radical solution. The question always remains – do we need to lose it all before we begin the process of correction?
Again it also depends on the collective effort of beings that already have the awareness of the problems and basically the willingness and how far we are willing to go to bring the message across. Observing myself I see that it is really important to find the ways to break the walls of separations and the illusion of ME and THEM. We already have the knowledge and undeniable prove that we are one planet where all of us are completely interdependent, where we are collectively building and creating our future as a whole and so within that whatever we do through our actions affects not only ourselves and our close(d) ones but everything else. Still this knowledge must become a living realization that would turn into living practical actions and an example for our children.
In my next blog I will walk the process of self-forgiveness to release the pattern that I have identified above and script the correction within that
Here are some Articles in relation to Parenting – (prevention is the best)