Day 224: Talking Myself Away

 

I am sure I have written before on this point yet here I am again at the same spot, being reminded about the existence of it, and through self-observation noticing that “Hey I am still living it and haven’t corrected myself properly”. And probably there are more out there who have the same point, yet not all, realize the consequences that are being created.

“Substitution” is a well-known psychological effect: when you announce your goals to people, you receive psychological satisfaction, and it makes it less likely you achieve them.

So it’s the point of talking to people about the things I want to achieve while not having yet walked the practical steps to see the reality of what I am talking about. The experience shows and reveals that this talk just remains in that level- a discussion, which only makes me feel good for a while, as if I am really doing it and achieving it– while, as I said, no practical results are really achieved.

So this has been a big part of my reality and I see there are some dimensions as the reasons of why I am participating in this behavior.

Here are some trigger points I am able to identify that are pushing me to begin this pattern: “keeping the conversation with another”. “wanting to make another party interested in the conversation”, “seeking approval and support”, “being excited and thus sharing all the news”, “wanting to look as an honest person, as if saying – look my life is transparent, no secrets”, “wanting to get some insights, ideas, suggestions from others”

Still no matter how beautiful the justifications sound the facts remain the same – most of what I was sharing never came into being. Also interesting to note is that that the more I shared and talked about something the less likely it was ever to manifest in real life. Somehow through this talking I create and evolve my alternate reality of my goals into a beautiful and desirable point of fruition that has no connection to the reality of where I am actually standing and within this it becomes extraordinarily difficult to face the actual reality versus the imagined dream world that I created in my mind by talking, sharing, discussing what I want to achieve in my life.

Since I wrote on the point in the past I have reduced this extensive pattern within me, but still it’s influencing my reality greatly. Just today this point happened again and even though, I told myself that I am not sharing this with anyone before I actually move myself within and instead of talking through words I will talk in results – it was one of the first things I have shared and talked about with another.

So perhaps I can now formally state to myself that I have a form of OCD here that I need to address and get myself out of this loop of ineffective lifestyle and so get to real living where I am moving myself as myself with myself until it’s done and my practical reality now can stand with my words which previously were only empty shells pretending to be alive.

I will continue tomorrow with the process of self-correction to ensure that whenever the desire to enter the pattern comes I direct myself towards a solution of simple practical living

 

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2 comments on “Day 224: Talking Myself Away

  1. egozzini says:

    I can relate Arvydas, thanks for sharing!

  2. […] Mar6 by Arvydas Continuing from the previous blog where, in short, I identified myself as being an intense talker about stuff that I want to do and achieve but when the time for real physical actions comes and where I have to stand for the words that I spoke – there is nothing of substance coming out. So here I place for myself the process of self-forgiveness where I release myself from the past and then design and structure a new path by writing self-corrective actions which I am willing to live an apply. Here you can view my previous blog for more detail on the problem that I am facing here Day 224: Talking Myself Away […]

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