I hear this question and in this there is a reference point from the past that I always go back to. It was an experience where I felt the effect of self-forgiveness for the first time, it was a small period in my life where I sat with myself for about a week, completely isolated from the outside world and wrote self-forgiveness statements non-stop realizing the gift of it. Before that I had an idea, somewhat mixed with hope and believe, how self-forgiveness is supposed to work. There was no real evidence in my own life that could prove real effect of self-forgiveness. This one instance, however, changed my whole attitude and I was finally proving that this thing is real; it’s a science that I could finally apply to my reality.
So I was sitting in bed with my laptop trying to remain here breathing, yet there were various thoughts that kept coming in my head distracting from the simplicity of just being here. So I started placing these thoughts on my screen as self-forgiveness statement. Once making the specific statement I felt a change within myself where it was like a space clearing up but which again in a moment was filling up with some other thoughts, so I place another statement relating to the new thought and again I watched the space within myself clearing up. I was basically writing according to my discomfort level that I was experiencing within myself – I just wanted to feel comfortable and for that I had to keep writing out that discomfort, forgive it and release it. It was flowing from within me, each sentence building as a continuation from the previous one, in this way removing another and another layer of where the discomfort was coming from. Eventually there was very nice space of clarity that I came to, but in this there was fear of losing the clarity, which I again had to write as another statement of self-forgiveness. It felt exactly, I imagine, as being a computer programmer entering the code into the system as command lines directing the machine to certain outcome, only in this case was not programming but deprogramming.
Since then my ideas of what is self-forgiveness was turned into certainty of knowing through my own experience. I got a glimpse of what is possible when it is applied correctly, consistently and of course in self-honesty as this is the key to get the code right.
After this short experience I had in the comfort of my isolation from the outside reality I went out and started, again, interacting with other beings and here I realized that there is still much, much to be done. It’s the same as like in boxing I suppose where they have a saying that it’s much easier to hit the punching bag as it cannot hit you back, so it was with my experience of being alone with only myself versus with all the other outer influences of daily participation. When I came into contact with others I didn’t do well and very quickly I lost that space of clarity as all the reactions that started coming up within me I couldn’t track and stop them effectively. Everything was moving too fast and I found myself to be just as lost as I was before. In this I realized the importance of breathing and remaining stable in breath which is a perfect tool to not be carried away on the waves of energy.
After some years since this experience I am realizing the importance of what it really means to be consistent in one’s application. As this is the only way to get through multitude layers of programs that we exist in and as. Otherwise when there is no consistency/durability of the process of self-correction the systems will win you back and thus prolong the process, possibly into infinity. So it’s a reminder for myself to never again waver or doubt or do anything that is supporting the systems rather than the journey to Life.The Science of Self Forgiveness is in the Water
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