The point I have been dealing with, and which produced extreme difficulty in my living reality is the point of making decisions. That includes all kinds of decision – big and small. Now I want to look at simple decision within my daily living. There are usually numerous things that I have to take of in any given moment and that’s where the decision has to be made and lived in order to deal effectively with what is here. That’s where I become stuck as I am not effectively deciding upon the course of action to take and where because of that, in the end, I do nothing of any real substance, everything remains only partially done. All because I didn’t make the decision of what I am actually committing myself to do.
Also it’s interesting to note that when the decision/commitment is not really made there is always the freedom to divert my attention away from what I am doing, especially when I am not really enjoying the process of what it is I am doing. So this absence of clear self-direction leaves a gap for the mind to distract and so far it’s been doing the job wonderfully where I would fall with every little distraction coming my way.
As an example let’s say I sit down with the study material for the upcoming exams. I didn’t make the decision to study where I would say to myself – ok mr. now I am sitting down and gonna do study for 2 or 3 hours, but instead I just do it on the go when having a moment of opportunity. Yet the freedom remains that something else comes up and I have to move on to that. And so it happens, any little interference from outside or even inside – as my thoughts arising in the mind – I jump into attendance disregarding what I was doing. Weather I will come back to study is not certain – as I have never made the decisions of how long or how much I will study.
So this obviously isn’t working and the structure is required to move myself in my daily living to ensure that the main points needing attention are getting done. From here thus, each day, I make plan of action specifically allocating time and amount of things I need to do. Let’s see how it goes. The proof is in the pudding.
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