We all function according to various patterns of behavior and whatever we live longest as our accepted and allowed actions – these get ingrained and become our living daily “who we are”. I am currently in the process of changing my patterns into something more productive because how I have allowed myself to exist in the recent months is simply unacceptable. So it’s fortunate that Human Nature is programmable and thus correction is possible.
I have not been living in the actual reality but more in the imagination of my mind, where I was giving myself justifications as the scriptures of actions that I will be doing “tomorrow”. But that tomorrow never comes and it simply allows me an easy “floating through the days” experience to take hold of me. Distractions are many and when allowed they grow into big obstacles that take over and direct the whole living experience when there are more than enough required physical actions to be taken in the most serious manner.
So here I am committing myself to end the patterns I have accepted and allowed and in this return to real physical reality, learn to stand equal to what is here and what needs to be done in order to secure a self-movement that is productive and meaningful.
This will firstly include writing as an essential part of seeing the reality of me in detail. The importance of writing has been emphasized in many instances and by many intelligent people throughout time. Now I can add to this as well as I have lived a period of constant writing and a period without. The difference is significant where the period where I haven’t placed myself on paper becomes just an empty, meaningless ride without direction or much understanding of what is happening within and without. Writing is important in giving one perspective and insight into how one is viewing reality and self within it and where in this it can be analyzed and self-corrective actions, with actual understanding, become possible.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give in into the resistance which I experienced when and as I applied self-directive discipline in my daily living not realizing that it takes as long as it takes and my duty is to never give up but move forward with full dedication
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how important it is to see and catch in time the justifications used by the mind to not apply self and how these small justification can quickly grow into big obstacles as the new patterns of behavior
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in hope of tomorrow even having fully realized the hopelessness of this hope
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to choose the easy way not realizing that it’s actually in reverse where the easy way becomes very hard as it is full of consequences and tough choices which could have been prevented
I commit myself to design and live the correction of returning myself to a way of living that is meaningful and with integrity
I commit myself to become aware and actually take action when distractions and justifications are in my way
I commit myself to not be too hard on myself and not too easy but find the point of balance that is practically effective in living an effective life where I make decisions and bring them into fruition
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