In many situations where I have to make a decision and by investigating the choices I consider for the most part myself as the primary beneficiary. Whenever some compromises has to be made I do it for my own advantage hoping that other parts will adjust accordingly, where my thinking process goes something like “Well, it will sort itself out”.
I can trace back this thinking process back to my childhood and my interactions with my parents. This type of reasoning worked quite well for me most of the times because my parents would close their eyes and put up with my selfish behavior.
That is not the case, however, when living and participating in the system where the interactions between people are directed through established agreements and there is very little space for personal dealings. Whatever is agreed upon has to be followed through and if some part of the agreement does not suit you perfectly you cannot just ignore the agreement considering only yourself.
I mean it’s not long before I have learned this through experiencing consequences where in this then I had to align self and learn to consider all parties involved within the decision making process. For me, I noticed, the trouble comes in by having hope that maybe this time I will get through, maybe this time I can have my way. And it’s interesting to observe my mind, when looking backwards, during the decision making process where I will find ways to justify myself as being the righteous one, as being the victim of the agreement where in this I decide that I have the full right to amend the agreement to my advantage. Yet being self-honest I can see that I was acting out of self-interest and where my decision was influenced sometimes by factors completely unrelated to the agreement at hand.
So having this obvious problem in the human mind where I am sure many, if not all, have experienced themselves in this scenario what is the solution?
How I am going to approach this is by stopping myself in that moment of making the decision, because from what I have seen so far the decisions were made not being in full awareness and consideration of all that is involved. Thus it’s important to develop this moment of awareness when making a decision where I stop to consider each participant, each one that will and might be affected by my decision and when something does not fit me I can communicate this point, bring it up to all relevant parties, discuss and reach another agreement when and as it is appropriate.
I wish this had been imprinted into my character when I was still a child by my parents. Instead of them being so forgiving they should have explained me the principle of considering everyone equally – as Jesus said “do unto another what you want them to do unto you” which is really cool principle for every child to have as their starting point of behavior. I am sure we would have a different world if that would be a part of our education instead of this survival of the fittest mentality that drives this human RACE.
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