Today I am facing myself in my relationship with other people, my colleagues at work to be specific, yet which applies to all people I meet and interact in my reality. There was one moment that opened my eyes and gave me a glimpse into my pattern of accepted behavior that I missed for so long.
As I was sitting in a room a person walked in whom I haven’t met yet since arriving to work and as usual the common practice here is to greet each other but in this case the person’s face was grumpy and he didn’t pay any attention to me. I immediately took it personally and all the memories from the past interactions with him came flushing in the moment. I was basically confirming my belief about this person that I created within me.
Still, despite my usual way of behaving, as just remaining silent and participating in my mind talking to myself about the person I spoke up and asked him calmly in a non judgmental manner: what’s the matter P.? Why such a grumpy face? He stopped for a moment and, as if snapping out of his state of being, responded with a slight sigh: yeah that’s how it always is. And in this very moment my belief was shattered as I managed to remove the personal point of view that I was holding towards the person. When I reflected back on this person I could see that it is exactly as he said, “it’s always like this” where I saw that his predominant state of being is mostly this concerned/introverted/grumpy/deeply in thought personality. And the whole time I have only taken this expression personally towards myself as if I am causing him to be this way. To sustain this belief I had a few memories where he was cheerful towards and with other beings thus confirming that only when he is with me he becomes this character. But it is not true and I could go back now and view the memories without this belief being an influence.
So it was a cool moment showing how certain beliefs stick to me and become influential factors within interactions towards other people when reality might not be that at all. And then of course when and as I exist in this belief towards the person I do not interact with him unconditionally but my actions already come from this belief and that plays a role how another person acts towards me which again simply confirms the belief and thus solidifies the whole relationship into this unhealthy pattern.
So the real problem was basically lack of real communication and actually just being present in the moment where, like in this case, I would simply ask a person why he is expressing himself in a certain way where I am truly here and listening and seeing another and being really interested to understand where and how he is. So this is a point that I still have to work with within myself, as throughout my life I can see that most of attention was directed towards myself alone where I did not really care about another and how they are really experiencing themselves. Need to realize I am not here alone in this reality but with billions of others walking this life and how we interact with each other determines everything.