I have been listening to a series of interviews about self-pity and I have found great support for myself in them and it assisted me to identify a few points that I missed in my process of committing myself to apply myself more effectively in my daily living responsibilities.
I see now the importance of developing within myself that ability to clearly identify the various forms of energy that dominate in my daily living. It gets specific and detailed when we begin the process of describing and defining various sensations that certain energies produce.
So when we take the energy of self-pity here – the energy of it is slow moving, can be likened to the movement of a snail, the energy originates in the solar plexus and moves up to the head at the same time pulling the beingness/awareness down. This energy also has got stickiness to it, sensations of being really stuck in it, where a part of you wants to stay inside it.
I am not really yet so aware of these specific movements and technologies when having this energy around nor I am able to describe in such specificity any other form of energy but I do understand the necessity of, basically, slowing down and getting to that specificity/level of awareness to see what the heck is going on for real and how to work with that to remove these layers of built up energy within me and thus change.
Another interesting point in regards to the energy of self-pity is that the problem is not the energy itself but the point of its creation as that is the necessary point to be addressed to ensure this energy does not get its way. This activation point has to do with feeling bad about something – like an event where we said or did something or didn’t say or do something about which we feel bad and from here begin the whole process of going through memories in search of justifications to experience and create the energy of self-pity.
Now if I look at my experience in the last days I can see a point where it all started. I have promised to myself that I will be disciplined with my sleeping patterns but I haven’t managed to do this effectively and in this I needed to find reasons why I wasn’t able to do that where I found some people and some circumstances in my reality to blame for my failure. “Oh the poor little me”. It was also explained how this negative energy also has an ingredient of excitement within it and is the reason why we hold on to this energy. I mean I can relate to that, as it feels good to not be responsible for how my world and reality is. “It’s them not me” in this giving myself the permission to feel self-pity.
To be continued