The point I would like to discuss is the point of change, the real change and how that is met by me with some resistance and excitement at the same time. Surely I am, as we all must be, tired of the old self where only hope of change was keeping me alive and yet when the real change knocks at the door, saying I cannot wait any longer, there is slight resistance and a little bit of fear, especially when seeing the uncompromising nature/force that the real change represents. There is a line.
There is still a choice existing and one can cross the line and remain with the old self and in this probably experience eternal regret thinking “what if” until the end of days. The other choice, however, requires for the “castle of self” to go down, the ego must step aside and in humbleness acknowledge the defeat and the pointlessness of further fighting – there is no point in fighting, there is no dignity to be restored or kept– there was none yet. There were only words that were said but not lived, as the living process proves to be the most difficult part.
What I have been allowing for so long cannot any longer be allowed, and I am sure we all know our greatest weaknesses and parts of self that we must most immediately improve and so in this we have the first step ready for us to walk.
Lack of motivation was the first thing that came to mind now and as a response I can say to myself to keep looking, to keep seeing the reality around me, keep educating on what is really going on in the world and that will assist greatly to stop the illusion of perceived normalcy that is believed and portrayed all around within the society that I belong to. Within constant self-education and understanding of the system as an absolute abusive nature it represents we see our insanity and this seeing is the necessary motivation to stand up from self-infused ignorance.
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