I have listened to an eye opening interview about the dynamics of relationship that we have in our reality and how it works when we decide that certain relations don’t fit us anymore and we want to end them.
In my life I have made some pretty drastic decisions where I basically said to some long-time friends to be gone from my life. At the moment it seemed the right choices to be made, but now, after having walked some years of life experience as well as listening to the interview I can admit to myself that within those decisions I did not take everything into consideration and if given another chance I would approach things differently. However, now that this is done it’s my responsibility to understand what happened and share this understanding within “hope” that others might read and be more informed to make their own decisions.
So the first thing to consider and understand is that through the process of change we are interrupting and distressing the whole system network of relationships where, the longer/older the relationships are, with all the memories attached, the bigger the disruption is and the longer it might take for the change to be accepted and integrated. So if we have, let’s say a friend who’s been there since the “beginning”, then we can likely brace ourselves for a more challenging process of change because there are a lot of memories holding the old “who I am” in place. There is also a chance that the being simply chooses to remain within the old programming and there is nothing one can do about but to continue walking the process of self-change as an example of what is possible.
So there are many different scenarios possible yet within it all the most important part is ourselves, our own standing where no matter what is happening we remain absolutely stable, non-reactive, and always able to assess the situation/event clearly and practically where within that we can make the best decisions.
The tendency is, and I have experienced this in my own process, to start playing the wise guy, where apparently I had the power to decide who is possibly gonna make it and who is useless, whom I must shun from my life and who can stay. I mean my perception when and as seeing everything through the mind’s eye is extremely limited and I am aware only of the tiniest piece of a person’s life compared to the whole existential multidimensional process and many times I have been proved wrong in my assumptions about specific people in my reality. So again, humbleness here is a virtue that we can practice, especially realizing that our inconsiderate decisions can have big consequences for ourselves and other people’s lives.
Thus when and as we make decisions it’s to ensure real stability where we see clearly all the physical/practical details without the mind influencing our perception and most importantly be self-honest in seeing whether the relationship is actually sorted within ourselves or are we just turning to drastic measures of cutting pieces from ourselves like mad doctors believing we are contributing to the process of healing.
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