Day 299: New Job and the Discovery of Stress

thI have started a new job recently and in this position I’ve had moments that were rather intense. Throughout my life I have pretty much avoided any responsibility and all the jobs I had in the past were essentially an easy ride for me. I did observe the people who would get stressed in their jobs and I could not relate or understand how you get to such a point.

In this new job, however, my understanding expanded and I have had the moments where it seemed like I was on the edge of breaking down because of the workload and the pressure to get things done. Despite these moments being tough I found that they are also an opportunity to expand and break the limitations I had about what is possible. Essentially what I have learned is that when those intense moments come there is no time for thinking, no time for distraction and all the focus and attentions must be absolutely here on the task. I was satisfied with myself after being able to manage these moments and each time when the same moments with same intensity came I was able to find my stability more quickly and be more effective.

So I am glad that I am finally learning what it means to focus myself on something so completely and where you get things done for real. It took me a long time to get to this point because I resisted change a lot, I was always fearing and anticipating the worst, holding also the belief that I require more and more preparation to start something without realizing that there is only so much you can prepare and that without real application of the knowledge there is no improvement possible.

In this little journey I found that there are many factors which determine how we will handle stress and most are within our ability to direct and perfect ourselves within yet what I also found is that the system is sometimes too demanding thus pushing individuals too hard without considering their needs and abilities.

I have seen people being constantly under stress and where that stress is accumulating from day to day leading to undesirable consequences. In this blog I would like to note one important factor I have noticed which revels quite accurately that there are problems. And that is SLEEP patterns. This seems to be a prevalent problem in our current work environment. I have spoken to many people and it is obvious that it’s a big issue which is not addressed and given the significance it deserves. When I started working in my new position I have worked very long hours but at the same time I noticed that I also required longer sleeping hours to “digest” all the new information so to speak and it worked very well where the next day I would wake up with a clear mind ready to take the new challenges of the day. When this cycle is disturbed the challenges become burdens which accumulate and may lead to mental and physical exhaustion. Here are some very supportive blogs on this subject for anyone having sleep issues:

Oh! Good night’s rest, Good night’s rest…wherefore art thou Good night’s rest

Sleeping: Trying to fight a losing battle

To Sleep or Not to Sleep – the Dilemma with Tiredness

When I want to Sleep my problems away – yet my problems keep me Awake…

It’s unfortunate that the system we live in sometimes places unreasonable demands by forcing us, through the fear of survival, to keep working and producing results without considering simple, common sense needs of the individuals. So by doing the best we can in our individual lives we also have to pay attention and seek bigger solutions that would challenge the current system to change it into one that considers real physical needs of all humans as well as animals and plants. I support the movement of “Living Income Guaranteed” which addresses these issues by providing practical solutions to our sleepless nights.

More on Stress:

Is it Possible For Stress to be Constructive?



Day 263: Energy as the Engine of Movement


I have just listened to an interview explaining what Motivation is and how it works. It became obvious that how I have lived this word was specifically designed to sabotage the real physical purpose of what this word represents.

What applies to this word applies to all other words as well – and that is about the energy behind it. How I have always lived this word is by experiencing the feeling inside me, the rush and movement within me that was pushing me to take action where I would feel ecstatic and energized to start something. It should have dawned on me earlier, without having to listen to this interview, that something is wrong – I mean I could have asked myself – did I ever really accomplish anything by being moved/moving myself in this energetic way? Well the answer is NO, somehow I always failed in my endeavors, lasting only so much before I would go ahhhh, yeaaaahh “it’s not worth it”, “there must be another way”, “I will do it later” or use some other justification and simply remain in my old patterns, unchanged, waiting and seeking for another energetic kick to move myself.

What must be realized is the nature of any energetic experience and how it moves through polarities. So in this one can calculate simplistically that when this super positive charge of motivational energy is experienced where it will end eventually, as per physics of energy movement, is the negative side of the equation.

So it’s important to be aware of when this energy is arising upon hearing, seeing the so called motivational material. That is an indication that we are about to start another energetic roller coast journey just to end at the same point yet again trying to figure out what was wrong. I always used to judge myself that I am just not good enough trying to figure out what is wrong with me – because I mean just a while ago I was so motivated, so positive to get this done and now I am just sitting here without any willingness to do anything, essentially experiencing the negative consequence of my participation in the mind.

So now the question is how do we move ourselves to get things done if we now step off this energetic wave and how do we make the decision to move ourselves instead letting the energetic charge to play its predetermined cycle?  This is where self-discipline comes in to remove this charge and make the real practical decision to move self. I mean whenever there is energy as the starting point of movement we can predict the end which is energy again as a different polarity. Thus the starting point has to be changed from energy to self. I make the decision to move myself and I move immediately without the interference of the mind which is creating the energetic experience of this movement. I see within myself that this will have to be practiced as this type of self-movement is not yet a part of me where throughout my life it was exclusively the energy that moved me, in cycles only.

So I’ll practice this self-movement in simple daily tasks in my reality to better understand the difference how it is to move and motivate myself without energy being my engine but self-realization of needs to be done.



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Day 106: “I am tired” character


Here I want to look at my experience of allowing my mind to drag me down where during the days I have developed a habit of taking short naps even though there is no physical tiredness. This started happening since I returned to my mother’s house for a few weeks visit. I cleverly justified this behavior by claiming that it’s always been like that here in this place. I even blamed and gave my responsibility away by stating that this place has this power over me where within that implying that I have no will of my own.

I mean the practical solution to this is quite simple where I can easily get myself out of this experience of becoming overwhelmed with the feeling of tiredness- by just taking a walk with my dog, or doing some other activity – but instead I remained sitting at my computer doing the same activity and feeling angry at myself for allowing the experience of tiredness come over me. So I have been really putting up a fight with myself instead of working as equal to myself and finding the solution within realizing that this tiredness that comes is what I have allowed as myself and that to get out of it I have to find a practical solution through movement and not just putting up a stubborn fight trying to overcome it – and which obviously, as tested in time, creates only more of the same, more tiredness and eventual yielding to that experience.

So this little lack of understanding as well as discipline creates eventually a larger problem as the accumulated consequence of this allowance. After each of these relapses more and more guilt accumulates and together with that also anger at myself. So that is an example of how a little lack of self-movement drives me deeper into the pit – and all that completely unnecessary.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fight with myself when the experience of tiredness comes over me where I try to deny and resist this experience instead of accepting it as myself and moving through it by implementing a practical solution of moving myself within some physical activity

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny the experience where my ego kicks in to say that I cannot be possibly experiencing this, that I am strong and just have to push myself through this where within that I simply remain doing whatever I was doing which was obviously creating this experience in the first place

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize and see how through these little acceptances I am creating the consequence of accumulating energetic experiences of guilt and anger which manifests unnecessary difficulty on my journey to life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see how I deliberately trap myself within these experiences where in one instant I went to lie down while listening to an interview where I managed to fool myself that I will actually be able to listen effectively – where obviously I just fell asleep right away after lying down

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the process of walking away from the mind into the stability of the physical consists of small everyday things where within that I discard some experiences as insignificant not realizing the accumulative destructive effect they create as a consequence

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only pay attention to bigger problems instead of realizing that the devil is in the details

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a perception that it is difficult to live within specificity at all times within the believe that thus I will be overwhelmed/not able to deal with all the details/information


I commit myself to stand up immediately when the experience of tiredness arises within me and apply the practical solution – taking a walk with my dog, going outside to stretch my bones or any other activity that will assist me to get out of the sleepy mode

I commit myself to realize in the moment the possible consequences that will accumulate if I give in into this experience

I commit myself to stop fighting myself and work in equality with all the mind states that I get myself into where within that I do not resist or deny what is here but practically find solutions to align myself with the physical stability that I really am