resolution

When I sat down to write and tried to see the point within myself that is Here – the word RIVALRY popped up. And it makes a lot of sense for me to revisit this word and see how and where I am living it in my reality.

Dictionary definition:

The action of rivaling someone; the state of rivaling someone or something; competition.

When sounding this word I can hear thrive within it. So yes when I rival someone and when I perceive myself winning the rivalry – I thrive. Thus it’s my process of evolution as mind, as ego.

I live this word whenever I perceive myself to be threatened by someone. Doesn’t matter if in reality the person was attacking me or just making a comment, or just giving a feedback – if I perceived this as a personal threat I will go into a mode of rivalry. I will gather my army, my defenses and plan my tactics in order to win. I will utilize all my means to get the victory.

So basically this has to do with facing conflict situations in my life where I can see clearly within myself that I was never good at it, where I would always allow myself to be possessed by energy and speak and interact as it, thus creating more shit in my world and my reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive any conflict situation that I face as a personal attack where within that I go into a mode of rivalry trying to protect myself and come out as a winner

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be possessed by energy when facing conflict situations in my reality where within that I immediately go into defense and attack not realizing that it’s my ego taking me for a ride and the only solution in that moment is stop myself and breathe until no more energy is experienced within

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that when I am in an energetic mind possession within conflict situation I cannot trust anything that I am seeing and thus I stop myself from all communication and further interaction until I am clear within myself and able to communicate as a normal human being

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within my mind possession when facing a conflict situation immediately go into blame as a protective mechanism to not see my own self-responsibility

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to speak and act within a reactive mode when facing a conflict situation without realizing that in this way it’s impossible to find a solution as I am still projecting energy that basically generates the very conflict

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that I am losing something when and as I communicate with another in an equal manner regarding the conflict situation because usually I perceive myself as being right and now I have to “go down” to another’s level to be equal

When and as I see myself reacting to another being I realize that this reaction is an indication of mind possession and that whatever I see in this moment cannot be trusted therefore I stop myself – breathe deeply and take whatever time is needed to release all the energy build up where then I am able to communicate clearly about what was faced in the moment and what solutions can be applied

When and as I see myself wanting to blame another when facing a conflict situation I stop myself, I breathe and look into myself to see if there any energy running within – then when I am clear I look to see where is my responsibility for the event or situation and what can be done to find the best solution

I commit myself to within facing conflict situations in my life and my reality remain stable and not allow energy to take me over and dictate my actions but instead I remain the director of the solution within clear and open communication