Day 294: Slowing Down and Deciding Who I Am

 

Norvz-Austria-Makes-Time-Stand-StillThis comes from some moments of interaction that I have faced with strangers few days ago while travelling abroad. It is very simple yet it is significant at the same time, and it is missed just too often. And here the word missed is very accurate because it’s truly something that I miss very much.

Here I am talking about the ability to slow myself down when interacting with another human and thus enable myself to connect, to see another, to hear the words, to respond and not just automatically react.

Now the name of the blog says “deciding who I am” and that is because when there is a moment of interaction and if I really slow myself down I have this moment in space and time to respond and where in this response I can decide how I want to express myself, I decide who I will be. An example – I was waiting in line at the airport and suddenly a girl comes from behind, she grabs her head with her hands and asks me if that is the queue for the security checks. In that moment I was very relaxed, I was more HERE in that moment without otherwise usual plethora of thoughts occupying my mind which allowed me to truly look at her, especially that dramatic act of her grabbing her head which looked so funny as she expressed herself. Lol in that moment the response I decided upon was to say nothing and see what she does further with those hands on her head. It was a very short moment and after this short silence she looked up into my eyes and we started laughing where I said then Yes that’s the line. So even though there is absolutely nothing special within this interaction yet it’s very different from the usual reactive/automatic response I would give normally which is like not even taking a moment to see another but where I am existing constantly in my own thoughts and just quickly would react with some preprogrammed words coming out of my mouth, without me being aware of what my response will be, until the moment is gone and where only later I reflect back on what happened.

When living without awareness, spending most of the time only in the mind thinking thinking thinking causes an experience of separation, an alienation, where I become an alien unable to relate to other people. I had enough of that and it’s definitely not a fun place to be, it’s very hard actually, especially when I am travelling a lot and when I am mostly around people I do not know. When I can manage to slow myself down I can see that the other people are not so different actually, even though we might speak different languages, we might have different views and opinions, still there is a part within all of us that is common and thus we can all relate on that level.

So I will keep practicing and nurturing that awareness within myself so that I can connect and relate to my fellow human beings, to thus see behind the surface appearances and get some real understanding of what we are all experiencing inside of ourselves, because I mean it’s no secret that we as society have much turmoil in our minds that’s causing exactly that separations and alienation among each other. Time to stop and see each other and find the ways to support each other to step out of the mind and discover awareness.

——————————————————————————————————–

Visit the “Desteni I Process Lite”course that has been launched for all those who are willing to understand,  in practical self-application, the reality of self

Desteni Forum
7 Year Journey to Life
7 Year Journey to Life Facebook Page
EQAFE
Living Income Guaranteed 
Heaven’s Journey to Life
Advertisements

Day 293: Being in Agreement with Myself that Change is Required

3370319232_7fec3969d0I have a blocked nose, some head and eye pain for a few days now which most likely at this point is due to environmental factors such as wind, heat and cold of which I have plenty here. I speculate that my movement in terms of accepting a new position/responsibility at work which required of me to break quite a few deep character patterns has in a way weakened my established constitution thus making me more susceptible to outside influences.

I can still experience a sort of battle within me where the old and the new meet. I have decided within myself that I will no longer procrastinate and wait for changes to happen but that I will take initiative and go with the decisions that empower me. The past, as my thoughts of fear, anxiety, insecurity, laziness and also desires to indulge in positive energy experiences are still coming up where in this I am standing with my decision in front of me and I refuse to follow my old patterns and I refuse to succumb to the influences which were producing only the negative consequences very well proven in time.

I accept those fears, the anxieties, and the desires realizing that they have been a part of me for a very long time and thus it will take some time to transform that. I do not resist or judge those parts of me but I support myself by giving myself the credit for making the small steps to stand. The saying that later is better than never is cool. So all parts of me are here and we all walk hand in hand realizing that the change is necessary and that what we are doing is for the better.

Now in terms of this transition from the old into the new I found the aphorism made by the founder of homeopathy Samuel Hahnemann very supportive. Even though he speaks about the role of a physician when dealing with a disease still we can view it from the perspective of us being our own physicians who are dealing with our dis-ease that was preventing us to live truly fulfilling lives:

“The highest ideal of cure is rapid, gentle and permanent restoration of the health, or removal and annihilation of the disease in its whole extent, in the shortest, most reliable, and most harmless way, on easily comprehensible principles.

Even though the reality is often different and we experience quite a turmoil when dealing with change the above point can serve as a guideline towards which we can strive by perfecting ourselves each time we face the challenges of change from a dis-eased state into a healthier one.

Now in terms of “comprehensible principles” mentioned in the text here I would like to mention one of them which was and is extremely supportive for me at this point in time on this journey of change. That is the point of judgment – of Self and others. And that is because I am noticing that, at least in the beginning, I am making a lot of mistakes. In the past this would have stopped me and I would have fallen back into my usual self-limiting patterns where I feel comfortable and where I would not push myself nor expand nor try new things. Now by dealing with this fear of failure, and again by using another useful principle of writing and investigating myself, I can accept the fuck-ups I make and just move on. It’s truly liberating. Try it!!! And another interesting thing is that once I started supporting myself in this and removing the self-judgments, the others around me also started supporting me and giving a thumbs up, even when I did some really ridiculous mistakes lol. So I am really grateful to many people in my reality for standing as that support in those moments when I really needed it. That gives great motivation to go on and be the same for others

——————————————————————————————————–

Visit the “Desteni I Process Lite”course that has been launched for all those who are willing to understand,  in practical self-application, the reality of self

Desteni Forum
7 Year Journey to Life
7 Year Journey to Life Facebook Page
EQAFE
Living Income Guaranteed 
Heaven’s Journey to Life

Day 131: DESTENI Character – Self-Forgiveness / Commitments (Part1)

Continuation from

Day 130: stopping self-sabotage

Day 129: The Desteni Character

 

Fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being part of Desteni message and create of it something more than it really is – as walking the process of stopping illusionary mind reality and becoming practical, physical human being that recognizes equality and oneness with everything that exists here – instead I made Desteni group into special place of higher beings that are above common people and thus I had to find ways how to belong to this group to so escape from the normal existence of common man and also become special like them where within that I was already perceiving myself as special and thus separate from others in my world and reality that I perceived as common/mediocre and so within that I was completely missing the actual message of Oneness and Equality that Desteni begins as

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I might not be able to understand the Desteni message and thus end up on the outskirts of the Desteni group where within that my starting point of movement was mechanically complying and doing what the group was doing in order to belong to the group where I did not live the realizations as myself, was not seeing for myself, wasn’t trusting myself and within that wasn’t taking self-responsible actions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the message of self-responsibility where I have seen how far I have gone to become absolute follower of the system being in absolute petrification to stand outside the system and direct myself as myself as life in each moment of breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within that fear walk in the background in HOPE that I will magically change and stand up without making directive decisions to actually do it and so become visible where I state to the world in absolute self-trust who I am and what I stand for

So my fear was basically the fear of not living up to my ideas that I created about who I must be within the group of Desteni, the process. Later however all my ideas about people of Desteni and process itself were shattered once I visited the farm and found what simplicity of practical living really is. I was really glad when all this weight of trying to sustain my imaginary characters was off and I could just be. So that basically revealed how I was taking the Desteni material and hearing it through the eyes of fear and desire, not seeing, realizing and understanding the totality and the simplicity of the message.

So within that I commit myself to remove any and all ideas about what process is, who the people within process are and thus concentrate on myself where I ensure that I take self-responsibility to stop participation in my mind and so I get back to physical reality where I realize the simplicity of living here as the flesh of the earth and where I work together with other physical beings as an equal participant to establish living conditions that support all beings equally

When and as I see fears arising within me as thoughts and considerations about who I am in relation to Desteni – I stop and I breathe. I realize that any fear indicates separation from myself here into the mind reality and thus I require to identify the fear, release the fear and walk the simple process of physical participation ensuring that the physical reality becomes the primary consideration, as the source of all live of all beings on earth

Thought

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that since I was so lucky to find Desteni I will be magically elevated into a special place beyond the boredom of common existence

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that now I will learn how to enter dimensions and so become a special being with special powers where I will be able to influence all the beings in my world to join in me on this journey to life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss myself within my ideas and projections about who I want to be and become

I commit myself to walk the process within realization that everything exists within me and that it’s here from where I create the outer reality of this world and thus I place all my attention into my inner experiences ensuring that I walk the process of self-purification understanding how the process of creation operates and how to direct myself from the new starting point ensuring that all my creation considers all live equally

 

Imagination

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine myself becoming an extraordinary human being that is able to take on anything and anyone in this world and this reality without any understanding of what it actually means and what are the practical steps that need to be walked to become a voice in this system that we all have created without any understanding

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that my imagination was coming from the unwillingness to actually look at myself as the extreme limitation that I have allowed myself to exist in and as and thus I was for a moment escaping into the imaginary world to feel better/superior to myself as who I have become

I commit myself to stop imagination and see myself for who I am and thus become friends with myself and walk with myself hand in hand towards self-perfection which means becoming a real living being existing in real reality instead of the alternate mind reality regardless of how beautiful alternate reality looks like – it’s still imagination and fantasy thus not real and will not stand in the face of actual reality which at the moment is not beautiful – yet I am willing to see it and take responsibility for it within understanding that I played my part in creation and have to stop this play and so become real