Day 300: Living the Word CARE

Care_MONOI was focused on this Word for some time now and it took me a while to start understanding how to start incorporating it into my own living. I was observing people in my immediate environment to see how they live this word and surely I found some good examples of moments when the word care was lived. From what I observed such moments are mostly expressed within the parent and child relationship, but not always of course, as we know that parenting is not an easy thing and there are many challenging moments in this relationship. Still I have seen so many moments where parents go out of their way to care/tend for their children. Especially when the child is still a baby and needs all the attention all the time. I once was asked to tend to a small baby for a few hours and that was more than enough for me showing again that being a mother is a tremendous job and probably the best school to learn what it means to care for another. In that relationship your personal wants and needs come last after making sure that the baby is fully taken care of. This takes away a lot of what we call “freedom” to do the things to which one was used to throughout their life and that requires a big change and adjustment.

So these where the best examples of what it means to care about and for others, yet I needed something more practical for myself because I wanted to apply this word in my own world with the people I meet on daily basis. I found soon that one important thing to do was to learn to really listen. This is not as easy as it sounds because the mind chatter, the constant self-absorption in my own thoughts was prominent and required a process of learning to slow down within myself which I am still busy with by constantly reminding myself throughout the day to do that. I even asked a few of my friends to assist me by reminding me and use the words “slow down” whenever they see I am getting into a rushing mind state. That works pretty well and we have a frequent laugh about it.

So this brings me one step closer to being able to live the word care and I could definitely notice the difference in my interactions which became much more enjoyable. I became much less judgmental towards people because I could hear and see them better, I started getting small glimpses into who they are and where they come from and essentially why they are the way they are. And I mean people also respond better when a guy next to them is not lost somewhere in his own mind thinking but is able to participate in the conversation with some sense.

Another interesting point I have seen during this time is how CARE must be practiced and applied with awareness in various situations because there are certain moments to which we are so used of doing them in a certain way that we don’t even consider placing/incorporating CARE into them. Let me give an example: I went with a group of friends to play some basketball and as per usual we got ourselves into different teams and began this competitive game. Most of the guys that played there I have never met before and it’s also been a while since I last played which made me put some extra effort into the game. I noticed that the friend I came with was not a good player which made me feel good knowing that I am not the worst player there. Once the game started my friend struggled a lot with his play because, as we have found later, he judged himself to the extreme for being unable to participate with others equally and where in the end he has hurt his finger pretty badly with a ball which, as we realized later as well, was his own creation in order to, by any means, escape this uncomfortable experience. Now you see how many times I have used the word later because during the game I was not consciously aware of any of this and only by looking back I was able to see my absolute self-absorption into my own performance disregarding everything and everyone else. I means it was a competitive game and thus it seems there is no place for CARE in it. This was a good lesson and I am glad that my friend managed to open this point of intense anger and self-judgment towards himself in relation to the game, which I presume assisted his body to deal more effectively with the trauma that he experienced. Still prevention is of course much better way to go and could have been achieved if the word CARE was incorporated into those competitive games as a principle from the very beginning.

So it’s definitely a process to take a word and learn to live it in a variety of situations and also on all LEVELS, because if we take the word CARE it’s much easier to live it towards our loved ones whom we know more intimately, yet when it comes to those far away we are no longer able to relate or connect in any way, yet all our actions and decisions on individual and collective level ripples around the globe and creates the reality that we know. It’s rather obvious that our creation needs some adjustment so let’s do it word by word to make a better world.

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Day 284: Living Words: Determination

 

imageThe problem I am facing is the premature giving up whenever I am going into a new area of research. At the moment I am busy doing research about potential job opportunities and this requires of me to go where I have not gone before. All the new words, definitions, relationships quickly overwhelm me and usually, through manifesting the experience of tiredness, I go into extreme postponement. The thoughts in the moment convince me that it’s just too much of new information and there is just no way I can, any time soon, learn the details. Sometimes I manage to push myself a little and so I start picking up the words, going through the dictionary getting the meanings of them and building slowly my understanding, yet still at some point my self-motivation expires and normally I move on to some other activity that is more familiar to me and which requires less effort.

Yes I managed a few times to prove to myself that it is actually possible to arrive to a greater understanding with some more determination but still having walked the path of giving up more frequently I tend to fall into that trail. It’s as if I have placed a limitation device in my brain that activates after certain input of information is reached. Alarm goes off and tiredness falls upon me forcing me to direct myself to another activity that would resume my energy level to normal functionality.

So that’s obviously a problem now that I am willing to change myself, expand and grow in my reality. Thus as a solution to this obstacle I would like to start with one of the words that i see should be lived within these situations that I face – this word is Determination.

If I look at how I lived this word until now it’s been put on hold, postponed for the future living where always some preconditions existed before I could live it, I would tell myself that when I get there or there then the conditions will be perfect and I will fully commit and dedicate myself. However in time I realized that no matter what the conditions were, upon fulfilling those conditions, no change was really ever implemented by me, if only for a short while until I would create some more preconditions to become and live determination in my life.

It’s interesting how this word has the exact meaning I require to have within my resolve where if we take from the word the prefix de- which means undo or reverse to the opposite. Then the next part is -termination, thus instead of prematurely terminating my process of research and investigation I reverse the process with self determination and walk a point towards a specified completion.

So when and as I decide to research or investigate a point in my reality and in this I face my mind which wants to terminate the process and direct me away from the task I stop myself and I commit myself to realize that I am able to stick to my decision and, by pushing through my resistances, break my limitations thus rewarding myself with greater understanding and expansion in my reality

When and as I experience tiredness when performing a task I stop myself within realization that I am the one that allowed the thoughts to create this experience and as a solution I commit myself to shake off this experience by having a quick break or just move around yet still holding the determination to comeback and perform the task into specified completion

Here immediately I can see some other closely linked words that are of utmost importance and which I have also failed to live, like for example: focus, planning, structure or words that I lived with emotional attachment, like for example doubt, failure, difficulty which as a consequence swayed me in all kinds of directions not allowing me to be here, stable and determined to complete my goals

 

Read this cool article on the word Determination

Living Word the Word Determination: Day 285

 

 

 

Day 251: It’s All in the Words we Speak

 

Upon meting an old friend and communicating with him for a while it was very clear to see how the words he is speaking are actually defining and crystallizing his reality. The long sighs sounded like last breaths of hope and everything was just gloom and doom. Without hesitation I made him aware of how he is using his words and the whole body language to maintain his undesirable state. He saw the point and for the rest of our interaction we were catching and correcting the language to thus reprogram the mind to get a different outcome. We also went back to see where these gloom patterns started to emerge so we could see and understand a little the process of this creation.

So after this little encounter I asked myself where and how I am doing the same in my reality. I mean I am surely not completely satisfied with how my life is progressing in terms of where I want to stand in the system and how I move myself in the process of self-realization. And since then I am starting to see more and more how I am using the words in the same manner as I have seen my friend to do. His case was an extreme one where within me I had to notice more subtle, yet still obvious, forms of self-sabotage.

So the meaning of the words “place a guard in front of your mouth” is becoming more and more clear to me. However the words, as it was found through research, constitute about 7% of total communication while the rest is expressed through other means that also represent who we are in the moment. So in this then the Guard must be placed not only in front of the mouth but in front of all other body parts that communicate what we accept and allow within ourselves.

With some assistance of my partner I became aware of some major patterns within me where through my words I was clearly indicating that I am not changing but maintaining over and over the same constructs of destructive behavior. So there is a lot of work to be done and in this every thought, every movement, every interaction counts.

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Day 232: Practical Skills of Communication

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Today I want to look at my experiences at work when interacting with people. Today I had a cool glance at how I have been suppressing myself within communication – this pattern of remaining silent was implemented by me since the day I started my job a couple of years ago. I was advised by my brother to not communicate on the controversial issues, as I did with my brother, with my coworkers as that might create some friction and compromise my position at work. I resisted this advice but still I had to comply knowing the consequences I always used to create.

So in this I had to recreate myself from scratch within this environment, which took rather long time for me to do. The best way to deal with this situation at the time, I found, was to remain quiet and pretend complacency, as did everyone else.

In time this new character I played became who I am, day after day being in the role I simply became the actor forgetting who I am beyond it as I have never allowed myself to really step out of the character and initiate some “real” conversation with people here around me. The problem in this, as I see it now, is that I looked at everything only in term of black and white. I didn’t realize that the previous me that I was before/outside this new character was just another character, which wasn’t allowed now to be expressed in this new place. I have in this only considered one way, my way, how it is possible to arrive at some realizations about the reality/state of this world and thus within that I limited myself from all other ample ways to look at things and ways to reach some common sense with others in my reality.
Now I am becoming more and more aware of the language of mathematics and facts and statistics, basically all that exists here as the undeniable prove where we are, as human, headed towards. And all of this can be easily utilized in simplistic communication showing and revealing what is here.

So today was of the days where I have allowed myself to interact more intensely with other people discussing the matters of our daily existence. Within this I have seen how much I have missed because of unnecessary suppression that I imposed on myself instead of practicing the simple communication. Now I see that this is a skill that needs to be developed where in this one gathers more information and knowledge as the tools with which to construct pathways to arrive at the simplistic realization that real change is required.

Unfortunately I had to see that currently I have no real skills to truly interact with others. There are so many definitions, so many ways of thinking by each person that I absolutely get lost in all this information and end up just listening to what they have to share without making any significant input for the common good. One thing that was predominant in today’s interactions was the speed of how I perceived everything was moving, where in this I was unable to follow people’s words connecting into various sentences with various meanings and so of course within that it’s useless to even talk about any valuable response. I was only collecting bits and pieces of the conversation, building slowly within me the experience of just wanting to get away which I usually did at the first opportunity. Most of the times the biggest barrier was the words that other people were speaking, which I didn’t know and thus I kept losing the whole meaning. I kept responding in general/abstract terms completely unequipped to go into specifics and so deprogram the constructs of people, which in many cases were obviously just delusions of the mind in many forms – like assumptions, greed, self-imitation, speculations etc.

So as a solution I see that this exercise of simply pushing myself to communicate was very supportive, yet also In this from here I have to ensure that I expand my base of knowledge on various world matters as per getting the specifics of how stuff really functions. This will be a training ground to begin my practice of learning to start hearing and understanding others and so in this Myself.

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Day 76: words and me vs words as me

 

Today while riding my bike I was listening to Anu ‘s interviews – these specific ones where about WORDS. At some point I got into the experience of overwhelmingness when I realized the extent of the problem I face. I could see how much work is waiting ahead for me until I can clear all the connections I have attached to all the words in my vocabulary. I realized that I never really hear another for real or I never can read another’s words as they are presented by another, because to each and every word I have assigned my own connections that function like filters sipping slowly into my understanding, where by the end of hearing or reading someone I have designed the whole picture based on my interpretations of the words – and thus I never really stand equal to another being because another being has different filters within his system, so we basically always miscommunicate with each other all the time.

I faced this today within participating in commenting where I was trying to explain to another the deception of love. I spent a lot of time looking at all the words and it was like a maze within which I got lost.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into an emotional experience within realizing the vastness of different interpretations/values/ beliefs that are connected to the words we use where within that two beings are unable to have one and equal conversation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to certain words and feel helpless within trying to understand how exactly I am manifesting these reactions where it seems impossible to ever achieve the state of clarity

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will never be able to find time to clear my vocabulary from all the vastness of connections I have assigned to each word

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to underestimate the power of words where Anu explained within the interview that one word can change the direction of human beings life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the responsibility that I have towards myself and others within my everyday interactions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel overwhelmed with the amount of words that the other being has used in commenting where I was completely lost in being able to respond in seeing the difference in our understanding on words and values attached to these words

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself that I am spending too much time within my responses to comments

I commit myself to begin the purifying process where I take words from my vocabulary and remove from them all the associations I have connected towards them so that upon hearing or using the word I stand in absolute clarity what this word represents as it is

I commit myself to flag point every single reaction I have upon hearing a word to thus release myself from the mind consciousness system energetic enslavement

I commit myself to remain in breath within hearing and reading another’s words where I do not allow any reaction to come up and influence my interaction