The point here for me is to look at all the responsibilities I have in my world and see how I am approaching them and how effective I am within them. It’s to take each point and see who I am in relation to them – basically it is to see the resistance that exists within me regarding each responsibility/task that I must daily perform and through that find effective ways to remove the resistance instead of fighting the resistance on a constant basis. This naturally makes the everyday living a pure hell where each morning I have to wake up resisting what is to come.
As it was explained in the Heaven’s Journey to Life blog Fighting Resistance vs. Moving through Resistance: DAY 297 – 298 it is important to not only realize the existence of resistance but it is also crucial to go deeper regarding each point and see in specificity the mind processes involved towards each point/task/responsibility. Only by understanding how this resistance is manifesting through thoughts, reactions, physical behaviors it is possible to create efficient structure utilizing which one can truly change.
“…you want to specify that resistance, what thoughts goes on in the mind, what’s the energy that comes up, what’s the internal conversations / imaginations that manifest. Essentially, you want to see how you as the Mind move, so that you can change that Instruction, into and as an Instruction of practical living change. ” –Heaven’s Journey To Life
So viewing myself in this I can definitely see how certain tasks/responsibilities in my reality have become a constant struggle that I face every day where I have even become used to this inner experience not realizing that it is not necessary and by far it’s not supporting me in expanding myself further but only keeps me stuck into the same daily routine of trying to fulfill just the minimum in order to get through the day.
- Daily Writing Commitment Point
The first point I want to look at and investigate in this blog is the commitment of writing myself out daily. I have within this commitment already a red flag that’s come up where slowly but surely went within this commitment from writing each and every day to writing less and less to the point where I am writing only every fourth or third day. The inner experiences around the point of writing just started to become overwhelming and now when I make the decision within myself to not do it on a specific day then it feels like a lot of weight is dropping from me. So I see the importance now to understand specifically what that “weight” is exactly and within that remove it from myself and simply follow through with the simple commitment of writing and so developing intimacy with myself.
I have been writing on this point before, yet it is clear now that in that process I haven’t identified specifically enough everything that goes into it and thus the corrective statements I did are not addressing all the dimensions. In other words I haven’t closed all the back doors through which I can justify, avoid or validate not taking action with daily writing and self-investigation.
Creating expectation that I cannot fulfill and so become demotivated and instead working from HERE as who I am I decide to not do it at all as a way of hiding myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have high expectations of myself within writing where in this I create grand imagination of the whole process which in the end leaves me demotivated when I start the actual process of writing not having much clue how will I manifest this imagination
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fuel my imagination through comparing myself with other people’s writings where in this I begin to experience the emotion of inferiority seeing that I am not able to come up with such effective ways of writing
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an idea of myself as being more or wanting to be more where in this the reality of who I am in this very moment is not satisfactory thus the resistance to show the real me within my writing
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give a fuck about anything else but the reality of what is here and to not deal with what is here in a most practical way that ensures definitive improvement and growth of my presence and my skills
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give all the power to direct my actions to the imagination of my mind within which I created the image of myself that is not in alignment with the truth of me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist constantly and continuously in the polarity of judging myself (negative) and imagining myself to be better/more (positive) where in this process I am not seeing and designing the practical ways to grow and expand myself
When and as I see myself wondering into imagination reality before I start writing I stop, I breathe and bring myself back where I immediately focus all my attention on the task of writing me within my current capabilities realizing within this that by starting HERE I am more than able to grow and improve myself in the process
I commit myself to stop wasting my time in imagination dimension and become real from the perspective that I write and face the reality of me HERE no more allowing myself to float up there somewhere trying to satisfy my ideas and ideals about who I have to be
When and as I find myself comparing myself within reading other people’s writing I stop and realize that each being throughout this life on earth had different programming learning and acquiring different views and skills and so thus it’s useless to compare myself to others and feel inferior or superior – the only thing that matters is self-honesty as that is one factor which determines the process, which actually is the process
So all this is but the general overview of my resistance to writing yet being a good starting point to begin the investigation where in this it is necessary to determine the specifics involved within the very resistance
From here I will continue to investigate the specific points as thoughts, backchats, specific imaginations, physical behaviors that are still weighing me down within the process of writing. The aim being the eventual arrival to the point where writing becomes as natural as breathing itself within realization that within writing I am actually gifting myself with the opportunity of life as does the breath
Supportive material in relation to writing:
SOLUTION of WRITING YOURSELF to freedom
2011 Writing Yourself to Freedom: Take the system for what it is