Day 89: Allowing Gossip in “My” defense

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a good feeling when I hear others gossip in a nasty way about the person with whom I had a disagreement

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am not a gossiper if I do not participate in outside conversations of gossip not realizing that my inner experiences as a feeling I get when hearing others gossip is exactly the same because in that moment I feed the same character of gossiping within me as those that feed it through visible actions thus creating the same separation from another without any realization of who we are as equals here together on this physical existence

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that hiding and not expressing my inner evil feelings that I get when listening to others gossiping within that I am suppressing myself through knowledge that gossiping is bad as a morality code instead of it being actual realization of what gossiping is and how it works

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate silently in gossip when it was expressed by others where they were trying to defend me and where I welcomed this defense as I have allowed myself as the ego character to be hurt and needed some reassurance

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear destroying my “defense” system as other people who stepped in to defend my ego from being hurt where instead of standing and stopping the perpetuation of separation between us human beings I felt grateful that others stepped in for me and “defended” me

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see how gossiping is destroying all possibility to create intimate relationships between human beings where we could understand each other’s life and living experiences that created us as who we are

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that all gossip is based on opinion that was formed with intaking only limited information which is all based on one’s programming where we like certain types of people and dislike other types never realizing the equality that we are as physical flesh beyond all opinions

 

I commit myself to never again in the moments of weakness use the diminishment of others to uplift myself

I commit myself to destroy all perception of separation between inner and outer self within realizing that inner nastiness existent within me when not expressed doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist but that it’s only suppressed and will sooner or later manifest

I commit myself to never allow the gossip I hear about other people influence my relationship to them realizing the limited nature of gossip as mere opinions based on memories

I commit myself to show/reveal/expose how we as humans participate in gossip through our opinions that we have created within our super limited preprogrammed perception of what life and living is