“Substitution” is a well-known psychological effect: when you announce your goals to people, you receive psychological satisfaction, and it makes it less likely you achieve them.
So it’s the point of talking to people about the things I want to achieve while not having yet walked the practical steps to see the reality of what I am talking about. The experience shows and reveals that this talk just remains in that level- a discussion, which only makes me feel good for a while, as if I am really doing it and achieving it– while, as I said, no practical results are really achieved.
So this has been a big part of my reality and I see there are some dimensions as the reasons of why I am participating in this behavior.
Here are some trigger points I am able to identify that are pushing me to begin this pattern: “keeping the conversation with another”. “wanting to make another party interested in the conversation”, “seeking approval and support”, “being excited and thus sharing all the news”, “wanting to look as an honest person, as if saying – look my life is transparent, no secrets”, “wanting to get some insights, ideas, suggestions from others”
Still no matter how beautiful the justifications sound the facts remain the same – most of what I was sharing never came into being. Also interesting to note is that that the more I shared and talked about something the less likely it was ever to manifest in real life. Somehow through this talking I create and evolve my alternate reality of my goals into a beautiful and desirable point of fruition that has no connection to the reality of where I am actually standing and within this it becomes extraordinarily difficult to face the actual reality versus the imagined dream world that I created in my mind by talking, sharing, discussing what I want to achieve in my life.
Since I wrote on the point in the past I have reduced this extensive pattern within me, but still it’s influencing my reality greatly. Just today this point happened again and even though, I told myself that I am not sharing this with anyone before I actually move myself within and instead of talking through words I will talk in results – it was one of the first things I have shared and talked about with another.
So perhaps I can now formally state to myself that I have a form of OCD here that I need to address and get myself out of this loop of ineffective lifestyle and so get to real living where I am moving myself as myself with myself until it’s done and my practical reality now can stand with my words which previously were only empty shells pretending to be alive.
I will continue tomorrow with the process of self-correction to ensure that whenever the desire to enter the pattern comes I direct myself towards a solution of simple practical living
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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the negative backchat “I am not good at applying knowledge practically, I spent too much time just reading and listening to others” as self-judgment where I sabotage myself instead of looking at what is here within stability of my breath and so make a self-directive decision to correct the point which I am not satisfied with
This definitely is an obstruction for me in starting the process of learning because this idea exists that I have to shut down the mind first, where within that I should apparently become able to see directly what I am studying with full and complete understanding.
This blog I want to make about something that definitely requires correction in my life and that is – structure of 
Ok so this point came up today where I have seen how within communication with my work colleagues we are just daydreaming basically where we imagine/fantasize about what we would like to do instead of actually making practical investigation and actually taking practical steps to achieve our goals. What we do is we look at people that have higher positions/higher incomes and we imagine ourselves being in those positions and how cool it would be to be where they are. From here the usual pattern is to enter the fantasy phase creating different scenarios of how we could become more influential/have higher income jobs. So I have seen today how actually desperate that all is and how stupidly that sounds and where within that I was angered with myself for allowing myself to exist in this state of basically giving up on myself and being at peace about the position I am where there is no actual consideration about reality and how we can move ourselves to become what we want to become. In that moment of seeing where I was participating I started to bring the fantasizing minds back to reality and looking physically/practically at the possibilities/steps we could take to make our dreams a reality. This wasn’t easy as the minds where constantly turning/directing the reality into imaginations that have no possibility to be manifested in our lives. So within that I saw that the mind has a point of hopelessness when seeing the actual road that has to be walked in order to actually expand and grow in living. Yet at the same time it was intriguing and motivational for all of us to consider the reality and self-honestly look at where we are and what we can do to make the change. There was certainly lack of clarity about knowing what one actually wants to do and what one could do based on the accumulated skills throughout one’s life.
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