After 2 year finally getting COVID infection

Covid has been around for quite some time and by now probably most people have been touched by it in some way. It is not so easy to track the movement of it when people were also getting infected without showing any external symptoms. I was thus also not sure if I had it or not. My doubts were cleared however some days ago when, first, my partner got sick and tested positive and then a day later I started showing the first symptoms. So I did my celebration dance for finally being included in this process of life and braced for whatever is to come. I didn’t test myself but at this point I am quite positive that I was positive. It’s now three days since and I can probably say that I am likely “out of the woods” by now, although I am a bit careful with this statement because I said the same thing yesterday and then I had hell of a night afterwards. Today however things seem to be much more clear – it feels that I have faced and walked through the stuff I needed to walk through, well at least to some degree.

Now in terms of having any fear or anxiety towards the virus I cannot say that I had any of it. That is because of the understanding that this virus in general is here to expose that which is already here. If I were to die as a result of it then so be it, that would just reveal that there was nothing of me left anyway that is of life. So I was quite eager to see where I stand in relation to this. The way I like to view it is how I was taught in homeopathy. When we get a new case one of the primary questions to answer is when was the last time a person had an acute sickness. By term acute it is understood that it is a sickness that is strong, intense, and usually short-lasting – just like our virus infection. This is significant in order to see in what condition is the organism. When the answer is “oh I can’t remember when was the last time I was sick or had any fever” it’s not something one likes to hear because this means either that the person is in perfect health (which is very unlikely) or there is a significant exhaustion of the organism, usually a deep chronic sickness that is slowly but surely taking one to the grave. In homeopathy thus if a correct remedy is given to such deep chronic case we expect a serious acute reaction which in a way wakes up the life force in the individual and then the true healing becomes possible.

So this virus it seems to be like a well prescribed homeopathic remedy for this world. We are obviously on a steady path of self-destruction – we are chronically ill due to what we have accepted and allowed this world and ourselves to become and for the most part we are unable to change the direction anymore, in a big way we have already given up on ourselves. We needed help. Now this virus thus creates this acute condition, this high intensity reaction in our bodies and it use any and all reserves to make a stand, for some it’s the last one, to try to fend off these invading agents destroying life from the inside.

Now it has been suggested to all those that were infected and healed from the virus to look at what body parts were affected during the sickness and what emotions/mind points emerged during the experience. Personally I am still processing and defining the experience I went through but in general for me the point has been revealed of which I was aware of but towards which I was beginning to feel more and more powerless because of the many years of inability to change this point in any significant way. So in the end I am very grateful to this sickness, it really feels like something subtle inside me has shifted. It still remains to be seen in time on whether this point has been affected in some real/practical way or not, yet it is clear that it is also my responsibility to be and remain vigilant and not allow the doubt, the wavering, this powerlessness, the experience of giving up to get through top me as the thoughts and the reactions, but ensure that I live the corrections that I have seen, to ensure I keep breathing and walking no matter what.

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Fading into Non-Existence

I am still continuing on the subject of ‘giving up’. I am busy with this system for quite some time now as I see how I keep moving in cycles and ending up at the same point, the crucial point actually. The point where it’s the hardest, most overwhelming, where giving up is easy, where the giving up is giving myself more time to avoid facing myself in self-honesty. These cycles, unfortunately but also fortunately, are not circles with two ends connecting but they are more like spirals where each time as I come to that same point I am a bit more screwed. Both mental and physical symptoms serve as testaments to that. I see, for example, my mental resolve slowly diminishing where in the past I had this strong determination to uplift myself from any disturbing situation with making a statement “enough is enough” or “till here and no further” and I would take deliberate action quite easily to restore myself to a level where I am more satisfied. But now what I felt for the first time was like a weakening of sorts where I am no longer able to call upon that strength within me. It felt as if the organism has gone into a weakened state where it can no longer produce the necessary resistance to counteract the forces of the mind.

This experience was extremely disturbing to say the least. In a way it felt like the time is ending, in the sense that all the warning lights are flashing, clearly indicating that if I choose to continue screwing myself down the spiral – then, most likely, it is going to be too late. And I see now very clearly that this point of being too late does exist. I mean I did have the understanding of that on a knowledge level but to really sense the reality of it is quite a different story. Within this I had also seen glimpses of the immensity of regret possible that might befall one within the realization that I have had all the tools to create me and I just wasted it all… for nothing.

Now the point of this weakening is not difficult to grasp. Every time that fall within a point there is a memory imprint of that event and when I am in a similar position in the future that memory from the previous event will play a role, where I am now more likely to give up just as I did before. When there are many such memories it naturally becomes ever more difficult to transcend the point due to all the compounded memories that influence my actions. So in all of this I see how I have almost automated this process of giving up at that specific crossroad, where now in order to be able to walk through it I need a really good support system. Of course my first choice is to run to my homeopathy books and start searching for a remedy that fits the resonance I am in. I do this based on specific mental and physical symptoms I have at the moment. That is and has been immense support. And also for the first time in my process… finally!!! I recognized the importance of seeking assistance from other people. I went to Kim Amourette to have a Quantum Change Kinesiology session and it was simply amazing. She did confirm the points I was seeing and really expanded my understanding of the pattern. So all this put together I am now much more confident to continue walking this point.

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Tools For Self-Support

SPACE OF GRACE – alternative and holistic support services

DIP Lite – Free Online Course, basic tools of self-support 

DIP PRO – More serious education, to really grasp the mechanics of the Mind

SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living 

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Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.

Giving up Hope

This a continuation from my previous blog on “Giving up”

I sit down to write a blog or work on some other task that I decided I will do because I see it’s something that I will truly benefit from. I might manage some progress but very early on I start to overwhelm myself with the apparent vastness and complexity of the task. I begin to hesitate, I seek and indulge in any distraction I can find, and in this way slowly but surely I start to put things on hold. On my next attempt I repeat the same pattern and eventually this becomes an automated experience where in the end things simply have come to what seems a permanent hold.

One of the main points I seem to be missing is to just do it, here and now, no matter how small or insignificant is the step, but just take it. Yet the wall in front of me seems just too high and the only thing I can do at this stage is to try and figure it out in my mind, to try to understand why nothing is working, why I am not getting any motivation and why the hell I am still waiting?

This is where I found hope to be a big part of the problem. I saw that no matter how disempowered I felt there was always this glimmer of hope still remaining. Initially I thought that this is a good thing, that this hope is something that still keeps me alive, but upon closer inspection within myself I discovered that this hope is rather a malignant manifestation, or in other words something that keeps me in that state of disempowerment because if I realized that this hope is false then I would probably do something about my situation. Now why do I say this hope is false? I found that it mostly comes from and is connected with specific memories which are based on the principle of a casino. Meaning that 99 percent of the time you lose and there is this 1 percent where you win. So for example it would be a memory where at some point in life we get that high/motivating moment in the form of, for example, a very cool realization which uplifts one to some new dimensions and in this we see what is possible, the potential that is here, where we are highly motivated and we do things and everything just seems to fall in the place. It can be of course some other similar lovely event but the belief behind it is the same – It’s possible, I just have to wait, it’s there somewhere, it has happened before so it will happen again – HOPEfully.

In this I have always failed to understand that these uplifting moments were “random” events that were fueled/generated energetically and they were never meant to last or produce any substantial difference. It’s again to not judge them and if used practically in common sense these moments can actually be used as points of self-direction, where we see the potential and what is possible. But in this also realizing that it’s just THAT – a pointer – and in order to actually, truly manifest real lasting change real physical, practical, consistent actions will be required. It’s exactly the same as using drugs where during the experience we might become aware that there is something more, the way we see things, the way we experience ourselves as being more free and expansive and whatever other words can be used to describe your highness 🙂 but in this realizing it’s not real in fact, and that there is no magic pill in the world that will move me. I have to move myself.

Many are very aware of this and yet the first step just seems too difficult to take. There is usually deep uncertainty in what direction to move, and a blank gaze when it comes to making any decision. Hopelessness and apathy start to develop.

Next what appears to happen most frequently is that life itself steps in to assist. Usually in some form of physical or psychological disturbance. And at this point we are all rather unique in how much pain and struggle we can take before we start changing. How many warning signs have to go off before action is initiated? Personally I had to get to a point of being hardly able to walk due to lower back pain. This was then enough to become so angry as to say till here and no further. Also in my life I have made a choice to try and stay away from any strong conventional medications so that I could experience some of that pain that my body is going through and eventually use it for change. Of course I always had Homeopathy by my side which supported me enormously throughout the years, but despite that it was always clear that without a self-willed decision nothing can truly help me.

Another important thing I realized, but at which I was very bad, was asking for help. I always kept things to myself and felt too ashamed and too self-judgmental for the things I was allowing. And yet is so important to reach for help when nothing else is working. I mean I am lucky that I haven’t manifested any serious condition and that I did start to address some of the warning lights on time, but now as I work with people through homeopathy I see so many having ignored all the signs and now are having to deal with rather serious consequences, whereas, if they had come when the symptoms just started so much struggle and pain could have been avoided. Now it’s a little bit more effort will be required.

It’s always better to work on prevention rather than consequence management. That’s why parenting is the most important job in the world. If that was done correctly we wouldn’t have to deal with any of this bullshit, excuse me for my animal language 🙂 Have a good day!

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Tools For Self-Support

SPACE OF GRACE – alternative and holistic support services

DIP Lite – Free Online Course, basic tools of self-support 

DIP PRO – More serious education, to really grasp the mechanics of the Mind

SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living 

eqafe.com – Full Access to the Ultimate Library for a small fee

Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.

Giving Up

It’s been probably few months now since I have made the decision to pick up on writing after approximately 4 year gap, ever since I have managed to convince myself that writing is not that important. And I did that despite mostly enjoying the process of writing, enjoying that intimate time with myself where I would explore and discover new things about me, truly learn stuff and really expanding in so many ways. So now I ask myself how the hell I managed to perform such a cunning trick on myself and also how to get back?

Looking at where and how I started slacking I see many small decisions over time, I see very convincing excuses and justifications, little voices in the head slowly but surely veering me into other directions. And I am sure there could be valid reasons why one would do that, but in my case, I really had all the time in the world to continue supporting myself with this invaluable tool.

Now what is also interesting is that I wasn’t really aware of the extent to which I have allowed this experience of giving up to take over. I mean the desire and the thought to start writing was always there, many times I would make attempts to start a blog but these attempts were compromised where instead of pushing myself to do it I would convince myself to give myself a bit more time and instead follow some form of distraction. In time, through repeated decision and the experience of giving up it became almost automated where eventually I wasn’t even bothering to try, knowing that the resistance I will be facing is just too much to handle.

The awareness of the depth of this issue became apparent to me only recently when I brought myself to the point of being able to finally make the decision to write a blog, to actually physically practically write the damn thing, no matter how good or bad but just get it done. Sitting on this point until it’s done was when I started seeing the “walls”, seeing how much resistance I have created over time, and how much effort was required to start breaking this imaginary veil. The thoughts were relentless: “it’s too much”, “it’s too overwhelming”, “you can’t handle this”, “the more you go in the more it’s going to get”, “you will never going to get through this”, “oh you are missing so many points” and then on top of that the physical resistance such as the overwhelming tiredness, heaviness in the neck and shoulder areas, restlessness and just the desire to escape from this uncomfortable situation. During the process of writing I did not have yet specific awareness or understanding of what is happening and why, it was pure struggle almost throughout, but at the same time it felt good that I am finally doing this.

It was actually the following day when I felt completely off, experiencing a form of depression with strong unwillingness to do anything that I endevoured to understand what is hiding behind all that. As per usual when facing any point one of the greatest means of support for me is my physical body where I take note of any and every pain sensation, or discomfort experienced in the body and from there utilizing my notes, that I have accumulated over the years from various Desteni chats and interviews as well as years of studying homeopathy, to try and find some indications/pointers leading to a better understanding of what am I facing. This is how I found that the real culprit in this case is the “Giving up” personality. For me this type of detective work is actually the most rewarding and gives a sense of real movement and purpose. That is probably one of the main reasons I started working in the field of homeopathy so I could do this detective work as much as possible. Yet I am sure this is the experience of most people, perhaps it could be compared to solving the puzzles and how nice it is to find the missing piece and get a more clear picture.

Now in terms of the practical application on how to start dealing with such a personality design I found the interviews on Eqafe very supportive. These interviews have proven to be invaluable support in times like that. It explained the whole system in detail, and what was most important to me was the understanding the depth of this system, meaning that it penetrates both mental and physical dimensions and that is what makes the experience so challenging. In other words there is an emotional reaction as well as a physical possession that happens.

The solution thus must be equal to the problem, we have to now physically practically bulldoze our way through any resistance, through any and all cleverly sounding excuses and justifications and also physical discomforts, no matter what. And doing it within the understanding that what we are dealing here is the consequence created over a long time, and it will take a bit of struggle, as it should, to move through that.

In all of this I found the words – determination and perseverance – to be the most useful. The living and the application of these words I first did in smaller/easier things, like for me the commitments to do physical exercise came rather easy due to my childhood years, thus I first utilized that to build and strengthen my determination and perseverance and thus in this way grow and build the confidence and eventually be ready to tackle the issues that are more challenging.

One thing became very clear over the years – the mind is very patient. It chips away the pieces of us very slowly and often we do not even notice it. Perhaps only much later, years later, when there is almost nothing left of us, we might notice that something went terribly wrong, the life has been mostly wasted. At this point, hopefully, it’s not yet too late. Now it’s our turn to be patient and start from the basics, rebuilding all that was lost and then going further than ever before.

Day 293: Being in Agreement with Myself that Change is Required

I have a blocked nose, some head and eye pain for a few days now which most likely at this point is due to environmental factors such as wind, heat and cold of which I have plenty here. I speculate that my movement in terms of accepting a new position/responsibility at work which required of me to break quite a few deep character patterns has in a way weakened my established constitution thus making me more susceptible to outside influences.

I can still experience a sort of battle within me where the old and the new meet. I have decided within myself that I will no longer procrastinate and wait for changes to happen but that I will take initiative and go with the decisions that empower me. The past, as my thoughts of fear, anxiety, insecurity, laziness and also desires to indulge in positive energy experiences are still coming up where in this I am standing with my decision in front of me and I refuse to follow my old patterns and I refuse to succumb to the influences which were producing only the negative consequences very well proven in time.

I accept those fears, the anxieties, and the desires realizing that they have been a part of me for a very long time and thus it will take some time to transform that. I do not resist or judge those parts of me but I support myself by giving myself the credit for making the small steps to stand. The saying that later is better than never is cool. So all parts of me are here and we all walk hand in hand realizing that the change is necessary and that what we are doing is for the better.

Now in terms of this transition from the old into the new I found the aphorism made by the founder of homeopathy Samuel Hahnemann very supportive. Even though he speaks about the role of a physician when dealing with a disease still we can view it from the perspective of us being our own physicians who are dealing with our dis-ease that was preventing us to live truly fulfilling lives:

“The highest ideal of cure is rapid, gentle and permanent restoration of the health, or removal and annihilation of the disease in its whole extent, in the shortest, most reliable, and most harmless way, on easily comprehensible principles.”

Even though the reality is often different and we experience quite a turmoil when dealing with change the above point can serve as a guideline towards which we can strive by perfecting ourselves each time we face the challenges of change from a dis-eased state into a healthier one.

Now in terms of “comprehensible principles” mentioned in the text here I would like to mention one of them which was and is extremely supportive for me at this point in time on this journey of change. That is the point of judgment – of Self and others. And that is because I am noticing that, at least in the beginning, I am making a lot of mistakes. In the past this would have stopped me and I would have fallen back into my usual self-limiting patterns where I feel comfortable and where I would not push myself nor expand nor try new things. Now by dealing with this fear of failure, and again by using another useful principle of writing and investigating myself, I can accept the fuck-ups I make and just move on. It’s truly liberating. Try it!!! And another interesting thing is that once I started supporting myself in this and removing the self-judgments, the others around me also started supporting me and giving a thumbs up, even when I did some really ridiculous mistakes lol. So I am really grateful to many people in my reality for standing as that support in those moments when I really needed it. That gives great motivation to go on and be the same for others

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Day 240: Do You Get What Self-forgiveness is Really About?

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I hear this question and in this there is a reference point from the past that I always go back to. It was an experience where I felt the effect of self-forgiveness for the first time, it was a small period in my life where I sat with myself for about a week, completely isolated from the outside world and wrote self-forgiveness statements non-stop realizing the gift of it. Before that I had an idea, somewhat mixed with hope and believe, how self-forgiveness is supposed to work. There was no real evidence in my own life that could prove real effect of self-forgiveness. This one instance, however, changed my whole attitude and I was finally proving that this thing is real; it’s a science that I could finally apply to my reality.

So I was sitting in bed with my laptop trying to remain here breathing, yet there were various thoughts that kept coming in my head distracting from the simplicity of just being here. So I started placing these thoughts on my screen as self-forgiveness statement. Once making the specific statement I felt a change within myself where it was like a space clearing up but which again in a moment was filling up with some other thoughts, so I place another statement relating to the new thought and again I watched the space within myself clearing up. I was basically writing according to my discomfort level that I was experiencing within myself – I just wanted to feel comfortable and for that I had to keep writing out that discomfort, forgive it and release it. It was flowing from within me, each sentence building as a continuation from the previous one, in this way removing another and another layer of where the discomfort was coming from. Eventually there was very nice space of clarity that I came to, but in this there was fear of losing the clarity, which I again had to write as another statement of self-forgiveness. It felt exactly, I imagine, as being a computer programmer entering the code into the system as command lines directing the machine to certain outcome, only in this case was not programming but deprogramming.

Since then my ideas of what is self-forgiveness was turned into certainty of knowing through my own experience. I got a glimpse of what is possible when it is applied correctly, consistently and of course in self-honesty as this is the key to get the code right.

After this short experience I had in the comfort of my isolation from the outside reality I went out and started, again, interacting with other beings and here I realized that there is still much, much to be done. It’s the same as like in boxing I suppose where they have a saying that it’s much easier to hit the punching bag as it cannot hit you back, so it was with my experience of being alone with only myself versus with all the other outer influences of daily participation. When I came into contact with others I didn’t do well and very quickly I lost that space of clarity as all the reactions that started coming up within me I couldn’t track and stop them effectively. Everything was moving too fast and I found myself to be just as lost as I was before. In this I realized the importance of breathing and remaining stable in breath which is a perfect tool to not be carried away on the waves of energy.

After some years since this experience I am realizing the importance of what it really means to be consistent in one’s application. As this is the only way to get through multitude layers of programs that we exist in and as. Otherwise when there is no consistency/durability of the process of self-correction the systems will win you back and thus prolong the process, possibly into infinity. So it’s a reminder for myself to never again waver or doubt or do anything that is supporting the systems rather than the journey to Life.

Check This:          Day 355: The Integrity of a Substance is in its Durability

                                The Science of Self Forgiveness is in the Water

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Day 123: Clearing the space for effective studying

So I am still looking at the point of studying and how I have been sabotaging myself with constant thoughts of hardship which in turn became decisions in my mind affecting and influencing the whole process. Now when walking this point and pushing myself to break the self-imposed limitations I can immediately see the delusion I have cocooned myself into and within that seeing in more clarity what needs to be done and that it is actually possible to do it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately sabotage my studies with having constant thoughts about the heaviness/difficulty of what I was studying and within that accepting these thoughts as real and allowing them to actually influence my process and slow me from living the decision I have made to pursue my goal of becoming a practitioner of Homeopathy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist looking at my approach/application towards my studying effectiveness in self-honesty where I CONvinced myself that I was accomplishing something within my studies while the simple calculation showed me that if I continue my studies in the same pace that I am doing now it will take me another 12 years to graduate the college

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from physical reality and real physical actions into an alternate/imaginative reality where I existed in hope/future projection about where I am in regard to my studying

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tell everyone, who asked me about my studies, that I am doing fine when I knew all the time that what I am doing is by far not enough to get anywhere

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in hope that something will happen and I will be able to create some perfect conditions to study effectively where I was justifying my ineffectiveness by blaming work and other things that I had to do in my reality

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that there are no perfect conditions in this reality at the moment and that I have to work in this system to be able to survive and that I have to look at things realistically instead of existing in hope and wasting all the time in depreciating thought patterns instead of allocating this time to study

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on myself right after facing the first lessons of my study where I immediately went into negative thinking patterns saying to myself how difficult it is/will be to understand the material instead of realizing that entering a new/unknown area it always looks vast and scary – yet constant and consistent self-application in time is the key in this reality and so I have to use this key to open the door into a new chapter of my life

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that this process of studying will not just happen and that I must deliberately push myself in each moment to apply myself and find within that self-motivation to proceed and succeed

 

I commit myself to stop beLIEving in my thoughts that come up with LIES about the hardship/difficulty of my study instead of realizing that I am the one who makes the decision how I want to experience myself within everything I do and thus realize that I am actually able to enjoy myself within my studies where within that I expand daily in my understanding about the vast universe that is our human physical body

I commit myself to keep regularly assessing self-honestly my self-application within studies where I make sure that i do not waste my time in deluding myself that I am moving somewhere when I am not

I commit myself to realize that I might be waiting forever if I want to have perfect conditions for my study and thus I commit myself to utilize each and every opportunity to study/learn within realization that each moment where I participate in thinking is a perfect moment that I can clear and make space for my studies

 

Artwork By Anna Brix Thomsen

 

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Day 122: How to Study effectively

 

Ok I am looking again at my decision to study homeopathy and the reason I have been mowing ever so slowly in actually living my decision. One point I see clearly is HOPE. Hope that somewhere in the future I should get to the point of perfect conditions for me to do the study. I keep justifying my slowness by saying to myself that where I am now is not very suitable for effective study. Lack of time, other more important matters in my way, etc. And so what I noticed within that is that some of the apparent obstacles I had which served as justifications to not study I have actually removed as well as I created for myself conditions that I wanted and apparently required to have effective study time – yet within all that nothing really changed. Whenever I come to the point of actually studying, sitting down with the material and going through the concepts and definition that I require to learn I just give up within myself where again I create some form of excuse to prolong the actual work that needs to be done.

It’s usually the same experience I go through every time when I begin to study where in the back of my mind I have thoughts running: “There are just too many unknown concepts and I will never be able to learn them all” “It’s impossible to do this study without having gone through medical education first” “It’s impossible to keep the memory of all the medical terms”. So obviously within participating in these thoughts and truly believing their validity I manifest within me an experience of confusion/blankness where whatever I study I just forget immediately and cannot remember any terms or what I was just reading. These constant thoughts, backchat, energetic experiences constantly keep me preoccupied and thus I am never here to actually be with the material that I read and actually understand it.

So I see that it is of utmost importance to remove the background noise and remain just in the breath here with whatever I am reading/doing in the moment where I ensure that I am able to follow everything I read and I integrate the material through actual understanding. And within that I realize that in the beginning it might take a while to just get through even a few paragraphs as I commit to look up and familiarize myself with each term that I face and thus build my understanding and confidence. And I understand that a lot of patience will be required to get to where I am actually familiar with the new language of medicine and human diseases yet I push through and move myself no matter what resistance comes up that pull me back to a mediocre life of existing only as a slave to current system constantly complaining about the unfairness and neglect while all the while I am actually neglecting myself the opportunity to expand and grow in understanding about human body and it’s functionality and essentially means to support it through various medicines of Homeopathy.

 

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Day 121: My commitments must be lived practically

 

It’s been a year since I started my homeopathy studies and so far I am really taking my time so to speak where it’s not hard for me to do some calculation and see that if I continue in this pace it will take me another 12 more years to finish the school. So here I STOP myself to reevaluate my position and make a decision about what I want to do with my life after all. I have been writing before on the point of study where I looked at my resistances and within that made some corrective statement that I should implement and live and surely within every self-commitment the real test comes when faced with real practical world. And so looking back I see that I have failed to live my words and apparently chose to remain limited and not change. I can see that it’s not just about the school but it’s a general pattern of self-sabotage in various different ways, with various different justifications, self-manipulations tactics – it’s like an army of characters that I exist in and as holding myself stuck in one place -and no one else but me is accepting and allowing this to exist.

It’s amazing that within it all I can actually see how I exist currently and what characters are dominant in my every day participation in my reality. Some of the big characters I wear as my suit and play throughout my days are the characters of constant complaining, being irritable with where I am, desiring for better conditions.

Yet what is really amazing within that – there is no willingness to actually change anything – that is proven by the actual physical actions and words. So that makes it really obvious that for example the complaining personality that I so often wear as my outfit during the days is not interested in change at all because after it is what it is -“a complaining” character – thus any change for better would be the death of this character and so as any other character this character as a separate entity is concerned about survival and it will do whatever it takes to remain “alive” – it will manipulate, it will form alliances with other characters such as “justification” or “blame” character, it will do whatever it takes to survive.

So the question is -who is running the show? Where am I in this equation? Who am I? Am I willing to accept and allow these characters to remain in control and determine the rest of my life or am I willing to stand up and say enough where within that I construct a new path where I design as myself, through investigating, writing, and practical application, a living experience where I would be satisfied and fulfilled – where fulfillment means to make the best contribution to this world in, first, stopping the madness that is here and then creating a world that is best for all where I place myself in a position of most effectiveness and most contribution to eventually create a world where all can enjoy this little time we get on earth.

To be continued with answering of these questions- in writing and practical living

 

 

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