Day 286: Understanding and Living by the Principle of What is Best for All

Here I am sharing my process of aligning myself to what I see most crucial principles of life. In this blog I will start with the following principle where I will show my understanding and living application of it:

 

Living by the principle of what is best for all – guiding me in thought, word and deed to always in all ways direct problems to the best possible outcome for all

 

Living by the principle –what’s best for all – wasn’t difficult for me to grasp as it made much sense from the time I was introduced to it. This was easy because I could already conceptualize the origin of all life being one source, one beginning from where we all come into this reality and I could see that only in the process of growing up we become separate in our expressions by accepting and allowing various beliefs, ideas, opinions, self-definitions about ourselves and this reality. Not saying here that it is wrong to express ourselves differently yet what is important is the starting point of that expression as all the thoughts, words and deeds.

 
Investigating the current starting point of all our actions, words and deeds we can see that the emphasis is on what is best for ME where the others outside our limited view are disregarded, not considered in any way whatsoever. Within that it’s not difficult to understand why the current expression of this world is so destructive to all life. Everyone lives for oneself competing with each other for survival instead of considering everything and everyone as an equal to ourselves realizing that everything that is here comes from exactly same source as myself, thus essentially everything is actually me. We can fool ourselves for a while and pretend that everything is fine yet this physical reality has a way of showing us the consequence of our faulty believes of separation that we live through the age old faulty knowledge that is passed and blindly accepted from one generation to another.

 
So as I say it was rather easy to understand this principle yet living and applying it in my daily living was and still is a challenge. What this involves is learning how to consider more and more within each thought, word and deed. It’s a process of expansion where I gather information about my reality thus creating the understanding of a bigger picture and within this understand how I relate and influence this reality with all my actions. We can view this process as a mathematical equation where within our formula of living and making our everyday choices and decisions we learn to include and consider more and more variables to the point where we can include everything that is here in this physical reality and where eventually we can say with certainty – I live that what is best for All.

 
Within this it’s also imperative to have a clear base foundation and understanding of what it really means to act in ways that is best for all. If you would ask people around they would all give different opinions of what they think is best for all, everyone would come with various believes, ideas, opinions based on their education, the culture they were raised in and other influences. However when we look beyond all the knowledge we can see that what we all share equally is our physical reality which is our physical bodies, our physical necessities. This is our foundation = we come from dust and to dust we return – physical is our common ground and thus emphasis should be primarily directed towards this point of our real equality. Still the mind reality as all our believes, perceptions, ideas, all the knowledge that we have accumulated and live by cannot be ignored and must be considered within all our actions to ensure we have a practical way to manifest a world that is best for all.

 
In the next blog I will continue with some practical examples of how I have been walking this process of learning to expand my reality and consider the bigger picture within my actions.

Day 280: Can’t we just get rid of people we don’t want in our Lives?

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I have listened to an eye opening interview about the dynamics of relationship that we have in our reality and how it works when we decide that certain relations don’t fit us anymore and we want to end them.

In my life I have made some pretty drastic decisions where I basically said to some long-time friends to be gone from my life. At the moment it seemed the right choices to be made, but now, after having walked some years of life experience as well as listening to the interview I can admit to myself that within those decisions I did not take everything into consideration and if given another chance I would approach things differently. However, now that this is done it’s my responsibility to understand what happened and share this understanding within “hope” that others might read and be more informed to make their own decisions.

So the first thing to consider and understand is that through the process of change we are interrupting and distressing the whole system network of relationships where, the longer/older the relationships are, with all the memories attached, the bigger the disruption is and the longer it might take for the change to be accepted and integrated. So if we have, let’s say a friend who’s been there since the “beginning”, then we can likely brace ourselves for a more challenging process of change because there are a lot of memories holding the old “who I am” in place. There is also a chance that the being simply chooses to remain within the old programming and there is nothing one can do about but to continue walking the process of self-change as an example of what is possible.

So there are many different scenarios possible yet within it all the most important part is ourselves, our own standing where no matter what is happening we remain absolutely stable, non-reactive, and always able to assess the situation/event clearly and practically where within that we can make the best decisions.

The tendency is, and I have experienced this in my own process, to start playing the wise guy, where apparently I had the power to decide who is possibly gonna make it and who is useless, whom I must shun from my life and who can stay. I mean my perception when and as seeing everything through the mind’s eye is extremely limited and I am aware only of the tiniest piece of a person’s life compared to the whole existential multidimensional process and many times I have been proved wrong in my assumptions about specific people in my reality. So again, humbleness here is a virtue that we can practice, especially realizing that our inconsiderate decisions can have big consequences for ourselves and other people’s lives.

Thus when and as we make decisions it’s to ensure real stability where we see clearly all the physical/practical details without the mind influencing our perception and most importantly be self-honest in seeing whether the relationship is actually sorted within ourselves or are we just turning to drastic measures of cutting pieces from ourselves like mad doctors believing we are contributing to the process of healing.

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Day 279: What is the Force Moving You?

 

 

In one of the previous blog I touched slightly on the topic of motivation where I wrote for myself that I will rely on the education/observation of external world events and draw from that the fuel for self-movement. In this I have not fully realized the dependency I was creating on something external to be my power for movement.
The re-alignment I am looking at now is to shift my attention fully into myself, where I do not stand in any way dependent on any external sources, but fully self-sufficient to move by and as self-willingness as myself no matter what. I move as the decision to move within realization that who I am currently as my mind personalities is not who I really am, I am not my mind, yet I am at the moment enslaved in and as it, thus I make the decision to walk the process of stopping the mind and uncover what it is to be and stand as life. I can see that I am not life at the moment, I can see that how I view the world and reality is extremely limited and I have to admit that at the moment I have no regard and no REAL consideration for all the suffering and injustice happening in this reality but only on an emotional level which has no significance or influence without the real actions on my part. I can see how I am confined and defined in my own limited “who I am” constantly battling with my personal issues postponing and procrastinating the real work I am able to do though uncovering my potential. Thus I move myself within realization that this type of existence is unacceptable in the face of what is here.

 
Just to expand a bit more on the creation of external sources of motivation I see it was based on energy where when I would see or read some really troubling information depicting our current reality I would become emotional and angry and this was the fuel for movement. Yet it must be realized that an emotion is still based on polarity, it cannot be consistent and stable but inevitably eventually it will shift polarities turning into some form of positive feeling – and boom there goes the motivation with it. In real term this has no consistency and thus real power to be influential. Our system in which we currently live in and the way we exist is very consistent, tireless, continuous thus in order to create the necessary force for real changes the same standards of consistency must be met. So energy cannot be relied upon, it has to be self-willed movement which remains consistent through all possible energetic fluctuations created by the mind.

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Day 278: My Word is My Law

 

At some point in life, through listening to my favorite motivational speakers, I have started practicing the understanding of the importance of living that which I said/promised to myself. The main saying that I adopted and kept repeating to myself was “My word is my law”.

This was a cool exercise and in that I was designing various, at times even ridiculous, tasks that I committed to do, just to show my mind that when I decide something, no matter what it is, I will follow through. So sometimes I would get up very early in the morning and walk outside near the forest where I would find a bunch of stones and I would get like ten stones and carry them from one place to the other and then back, one by one, ceremoniously and I would do that each morning in each type of weather. This was a cool exercise and I could definitely see that I was becoming more comfortable with moving out of my comfort zones – yet what I did not really take into consideration is the importance of consistency, which I could probably also name an absolute dedication. Of course I am not saying that I must keep moving the stones for the rest of my life, what I mean is the constant and consistent pushing of self to do that which I set as my goals/tasks/responsibilities. There is always something to do, something to learn/investigate/share/change in my word and reality –  there is not a single person in this world that could say “it’s done, I am done” because the reality is obviously showing a different picture where many many many parts of our existence need attention. So there is plenty to do.

So what happened in time with my living commitment to live the statement “my word is my law” is that slowly but surely the mind activities would take the priority – like doing things that I felt better about, that were more pleasurable, easier. In other words I relaxed into my mind where my life was moving by itself so to speak, where like a train I was moving in my predesigned tracks with no effort on my part. I was still holding some memories of my past attempts to seriously challenge my comfort zones, but there was no longer the necessary self-will to actually push myself to go for it again. I would say to myself that I will but I just kept finding good sounding excuses to remain idle. Through time my words became more and more worthless where my promises that I made to myself where less and less of a certainty to ever manifest, where only partially I would follow something until I would be drawn away by my resistances.

So here I am writing about this because the whole process of writing comes down to that point – Am I going to live that which I write or are the words just empty shells placed on paper to create the illusion of self-movement? I find it a bit uncomfortable to talk about it because so many times I have made that decision within myself to really move myself this time and yet it was never really lived consistently. So I can see that the past is like a ghost haunting me trying to define my present and my future, yet the realization must be live that I am still here, standing in awareness of this all and I am the one who can change the direction and live the new way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the past and all the times I have failed and fallen within my commitments

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose all trust in myself where the words I speak no longer have that real substance, the certainty/confidence within them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not investigate and correct that point of making choices/decisions and the actual living of them where it was so easy to make the decision and be enthusiastic about it until the point of actual living comes where in this there is no more “fuel” to push myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to move in my reality mostly on some form of energy, seeking constant stimulation within each move I that make

When and as I find myself within situations of making choices/decision I stop and breathe where in this I realize and take into consideration the reality of my choice/decision where I look into and assess the real/actual steps that will have to be REALLY taken

Thus I commit to start making my choices and commitment with much more caution and in this utilize the tool of making notes on a notebook to ensure I keep awareness and actual fulfillment of my commitments

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Day 277: The Change is Knocking

The point I would like to discuss is the point of change, the real change and how that is met by me with some resistance and excitement at the same time. Surely I am, as we all must be, tired of the old self where only hope of change was keeping me alive and yet when the real change knocks at the door, saying I cannot wait any longer, there is slight resistance and a little bit of fear, especially when seeing the uncompromising nature/force that the real change represents. There is a line.

There is still a choice existing and one can cross the line and remain with the old self and in this probably experience eternal regret thinking “what if” until the end of days. The other choice, however, requires for the “castle of self” to go down, the ego must step aside and in humbleness acknowledge the defeat and the pointlessness of further fighting – there is no point in fighting, there is no dignity to be restored or kept– there was none yet.  There were only words that were said but not lived, as the living process proves to be the most difficult part.

What I have been allowing for so long cannot any longer be allowed, and I am sure we all know our greatest weaknesses and parts of self that we must most immediately improve and so in this we have the first step ready for us to walk.

Lack of motivation was the first thing that came to mind now and as a response I can say to myself to keep looking, to keep seeing the reality around me, keep educating on what is really going on in the world and that will assist greatly to stop the illusion of perceived normalcy that is believed and portrayed all around within the society that I belong to. Within constant self-education and understanding of the system as an absolute abusive nature it represents we see our insanity and this seeing is the necessary motivation to stand up from self-infused ignorance.

 

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Day 276: The Energy of Self-pity (Part 3)

Continuing from the previous blogs on Self-Pity:

Day 274: The Energy of Self-pity

Day 275: The Energy of Self-pity (Part 2)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize and understand or try to understand how I am creating the experience of self pity where because of this failure to grasp the mechanics I constantly fall into the same trap over and over again

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must deal with the experience of self pity instead of realizing that self pity is an outflow consequence thus by not removing the source point I will endlessly recreate the experience and drive myself crazy trying to fight the energy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the necessity to stop myself when and as I am experiencing self pity and ask myself “deeper” questions that would lead me to the source point of creation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be distracted by energy just trying to quickly remove the consequence experience instead of going deeper to understand how I am creating this and ensure that I change at the source

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I wasn’t actually willing to let go of self pity as it has the positive energetic component which can be defined as comfort where in this I gave myself the permission to wallow in this energy without taking full responsibility and looking for a real solution

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use various reasons, excuses and justifications for experiencing self-pity instead of stopping myself and finding the solution for this endless cycle

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to no not realize the origin point from where self-pity was born which is where I judged myself intensely for not living up to the promises that I have made to myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the relationship and how from this moment of intense self judgement and not correcting and forgiving myself for the unfulfilled promise I became more and more miserable going straight into self-pity mode

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the destructive nature of self-judgment where it seems so natural to feel bad about self when not living to self-set expectations/goals

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize or understand that the solution is not in reacting towards self and throwing self into a deep, dark pit of self-pity when and as I fall but to pick up myself in that moment and stand again no matter what, whether it means devising a more practical plan or just giving myself another chance to change

Thus I commit myself to no longer accept the bullying from myself as self judgment and realize that the bullying can only work and does work when I am not really willing to change because if I am willing to change then I make in that moment a statement of what I chose to be and what I chose to do thus I commit to ensure my constant and consistent willingness to use all opportunities to work for change and thus in this there is no need for self-judgment, self-scolding because I know within me that I am always willing to correct myself

When and as I see arising within myself the energy of self-pity I stop, breathe and slow myself down, where in this I look back to see where and how I am creating this energy, where and how I have judged myself and after identifying the point i forgive myself for this unwise and unnecessary continuation of the problem rather than immediately living the solution in the most practical manner

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Day 275: The Energy of Self-pity (Part 2)

 

Continuation from previous day’s blog: “Day 274: The Energy of Self-pity”

I have noticed also that when being in and as this type of energy there is a feeling as if being in a bubble, a cozy little bubble where no worry exists. There is a feeling of comfort and as there are external means to experience this comfort that’s what I would do, I would lie down comfortably into my bed, roll into a ball and take a comforting daytime nap,  forgetting within this all my worries.

After a while I would always start feeling a disturbance, like a big pressure in my body. In the interview it was explained that when one is faced with resistance to let go self-pity and which is experienced as a knot in the stomach area – that’s exactly the time to do some self-forgiveness in order to let got this unsupportive relationship. The relationship as I have already mentioned in my previous blog is hidden deeper, it’s not the energy that’s the core point to address but something else that creates the whole experience. In this self-honesty is the key to assess and define the actual web of relationships and thus be able to disentangle self from it. How do I really create self-pity?

When looking within myself I see that my self-pity comes from the unwillingness to apply myself, I am postponing the real work that I have to do. I know that there are many points in my reality that require my attention and where I have to put extra effort to sort out and stabilize but instead of actually doing it I will find a way to sabotage myself. Like in this one instance failing to follow through with my sleeping pattern commitment and in this I have entered into the magical world of self-pity.

Only by having listened to the interview I became aware of the positive connotation that this energy produces. I mean normally self-pity is just an emotion (negative) yet the positive within it could definitely be felt. It is suggested to have a few questions ready whenever we are experiencing self=pity, like “What physical sensations am I aware of?” “What am I aware of?”” What is energy doing to the physical?”

In this we should definitely be able to feel some form of positive energy that we should be able to define whether it being a comfort, an embrace, security, care or some other word to describe the energy. In my own experience I would the energy “comfort” because it provided me with this ability to relax into the invisible hands that take care of me, where I don’t have to do anything. So this one polarity is mixed with the negative of knowing what the heck is really going on and what I am actually accepting and allowing and what the consequences of this are. Emotionally I am being dragged down, not taking any responsibility to clear up and sort my reality. So these are the two polarities of Self-pity which are designed like a nice shiny trap, just like the fish bait that looks as if it is real.

Still the questions must be asked: “What is the point that’s really holding me to this relationship? Is it the positive feeling of the experience or the negative as the reasons, excuses and justifications that I use to not take responsibility for my world?  Do we really believe that we have the time and that it is acceptable to wallow once in a while in this experience of self-pity?

To be continued …

Day 274: The Energy of Self-pity

 

I have been listening to a series of interviews about self-pity and I have found great support for myself in them and it assisted me to identify a few points that I missed in my process of committing myself to apply myself more effectively in my daily living responsibilities.

I see now the importance of developing within myself that ability to clearly identify the various forms of energy that dominate in my daily living. It gets specific and detailed when we begin the process of describing and defining various sensations that certain energies produce.

So when we take the energy of self-pity here – the energy of it is slow moving, can be likened to the movement of a snail, the energy originates in the solar plexus and moves up to the head at the same time pulling the beingness/awareness down. This energy also has got stickiness to it, sensations of being really stuck in it, where a part of you wants to stay inside it.

I am not really yet so aware of these specific movements and technologies when having this energy around nor I am able to describe in such specificity any other form of energy but I do understand the necessity of, basically, slowing down and getting to that specificity/level of awareness to see what the heck is going on for real and how to work with that to remove these layers of built up energy within me and thus change.

Another interesting point in regards to the energy of self-pity is that the problem is not the energy itself but the point of its creation as that is the necessary point to be addressed to ensure this energy does not get its way. This activation point has to do with feeling bad about something – like an event where we said or did something or didn’t say or do something about which we feel bad and from here begin the whole process of going through memories in search of justifications to experience and create the energy of self-pity.

Now if I look at my experience in the last days I can see a point where it all started. I have promised to myself that I will be disciplined with my sleeping patterns but I haven’t managed to do this effectively and in this I needed to find reasons why I wasn’t able to do that where I found some people and some circumstances in my reality to blame for my failure. “Oh the poor little me”. It was also explained how this negative energy also has an ingredient of excitement within it and is the reason why we hold on to this energy. I mean I can relate to that, as it feels good to not be responsible for how my world and reality is. “It’s them not me” in this giving myself the permission to feel self-pity.

To be continued

Day 270: Can I listen? Can I hear? Can I at least ask?

 

Today I am facing myself in my relationship with other people, my colleagues at work to be specific, yet which applies to all people I meet and interact in my reality. There was one moment that opened my eyes and gave me a glimpse into my pattern of accepted behavior that I missed for so long.

As I was sitting in a room a person walked in whom I haven’t met yet since arriving to work and as usual the common practice here is to greet each other but in this case the person’s face was grumpy and he didn’t pay any attention to me. I immediately took it personally and all the memories from the past interactions with him came flushing in the moment. I was basically confirming my belief about this person that I created within me.

Still, despite my usual way of behaving, as just remaining silent and participating in my mind talking to myself about the person I spoke up and asked him calmly in a non judgmental manner: what’s the matter P.? Why such a grumpy face? He stopped for a moment and, as if snapping out of his state of being, responded with a slight sigh: yeah that’s how it always is. And in this very moment my belief was shattered as I managed to remove the personal point of view that I was holding towards the person. When I reflected back on this person I could see that it is exactly as he said, “it’s always like this” where I saw that his predominant state of being is mostly this concerned/introverted/grumpy/deeply in thought personality. And the whole time I have only taken this expression personally towards myself as if I am causing him to be this way. To sustain this belief I had a few memories where he was cheerful towards and with other beings thus confirming that only when he is with me he becomes this character. But it is not true and I could go back now and view the memories without this belief being an influence.

So it was a cool moment showing how certain beliefs stick to me and become influential factors within interactions towards other people when reality might not be that at all. And then of course when and as I exist in this belief towards the person I do not interact with him unconditionally but my actions already come from this belief and that plays a role how another person acts towards me which again simply confirms the belief and thus solidifies the whole relationship into this unhealthy pattern.

So the real problem was basically lack of real communication and actually just being present in the moment where, like in this case, I would simply ask a person why he is expressing himself in a certain way where I am truly here and listening and seeing another and being really interested to understand where and how he is. So this is a point that I still have to work with within myself, as throughout my life I can see that most of attention was directed towards myself alone where I did not really care about another and how they are really experiencing themselves. Need to realize I am not here alone in this reality but with billions of others walking this life and how we interact with each other determines everything.

 

 

Day 269: Knock Knock where am I?

So I have been asking myself a lot some time ago how is it possible that some people that started the process disappear? I could not understand how you can manage to deny the reality to such an extent where you drop self investigation and completely absorb yourself with “normal” system living.

Well now I have answered myself this question, where for most of the time I have not even realized that I am actually living the answer. Looking back it’s amazing to see how slowly and apparently unexpectedly I started to disappear more and more losing my awareness of myself. I have only evolved in my mind with creating bigger and more “truth sounding” justifications of why it is ok to walk the road of actual and obvious self-diminishment. My whole life shifted into the future, where I was constantly living for the next thing, basically I lived within an imagination where I imagined myself doing things in the future, never now.

Well it’s the popular pattern of postponement that is like a virus keeping things stuck within accepted ways that are established by the age old automatic world system.
Surely I have made attempts to stand up, like the whole time, but each time with even slightly bigger success I would experience the “revenge of my ego” where every attempt would eventually sink me deeper into the mind. Without having clear understanding or better to say a clear decision within myself to work hard on each point that presents itself, I was less than my ego and thus how it always managed to suck me into the trap, again and again, should not be surprising.

Slowly the realization is dawning upon me that only effective awareness of breathing that ensures the mind doesn’t get the required energy can really get me through. I can see my sources of energy that I use for energy production to fuel my own enslavement. Energy is not life but only a very sweet imitation of life where most are fooled into this belief and where I can also relate to this experience having spent so much time being distracted from what is really here through it. I mean what’s really HERE does affect and influence me all the time but it’s like I am not here, I am not really participating in that which happens to me but I only wait for something to happen.

Imagination reality is much better where there are so many stories that I can watch on TV for example and add and shape pieces to my own imagination and feel good for just a while until somewhere I am faced with reality.

Another point is the routine job that provides me with great opportunity to not be concerned with actual reality because there are no challenges, no systematic necessity to really be aware or deal with unknown factors within the job because they rarely happen. So I am able to have undisturbed space between jobs to have and create my own individual world of imagination. Most of the times it’s absolute shit especially when clearly seeing the extent of self-limitation I have created for myself by myself. Only those few positive moments of interacting with my imagination are satisfying and apparently worth slaving for???

Now I am stopping myself where I am identifying the priority points within my living and reestablishing the commitment with myself to focus on that which matters as well as identifying all the points used for distraction to become aware and ensuring when they come I am ready to say no with an understanding of the possible consequence if go down that road. So it’s time to Stand back on my own to feet and walk for real.