So I am still looking at the point of studying and how I have been sabotaging myself with constant thoughts of hardship which in turn became decisions in my mind affecting and influencing the whole process. Now when walking this point and pushing myself to break the self-imposed limitations I can immediately see the delusion I have cocooned myself into and within that seeing in more clarity what needs to be done and that it is actually possible to do it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately sabotage my studies with having constant thoughts about the heaviness/difficulty of what I was studying and within that accepting these thoughts as real and allowing them to actually influence my process and slow me from living the decision I have made to pursue my goal of becoming a practitioner of Homeopathy
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist looking at my approach/application towards my studying effectiveness in self-honesty where I CONvinced myself that I was accomplishing something within my studies while the simple calculation showed me that if I continue my studies in the same pace that I am doing now it will take me another 12 years to graduate the college
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from physical reality and real physical actions into an alternate/imaginative reality where I existed in hope/future projection about where I am in regard to my studying
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tell everyone, who asked me about my studies, that I am doing fine when I knew all the time that what I am doing is by far not enough to get anywhere
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in hope that something will happen and I will be able to create some perfect conditions to study effectively where I was justifying my ineffectiveness by blaming work and other things that I had to do in my reality
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that there are no perfect conditions in this reality at the moment and that I have to work in this system to be able to survive and that I have to look at things realistically instead of existing in hope and wasting all the time in depreciating thought patterns instead of allocating this time to study
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on myself right after facing the first lessons of my study where I immediately went into negative thinking patterns saying to myself how difficult it is/will be to understand the material instead of realizing that entering a new/unknown area it always looks vast and scary – yet constant and consistent self-application in time is the key in this reality and so I have to use this key to open the door into a new chapter of my life
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that this process of studying will not just happen and that I must deliberately push myself in each moment to apply myself and find within that self-motivation to proceed and succeed
I commit myself to stop beLIEving in my thoughts that come up with LIES about the hardship/difficulty of my study instead of realizing that I am the one who makes the decision how I want to experience myself within everything I do and thus realize that I am actually able to enjoy myself within my studies where within that I expand daily in my understanding about the vast universe that is our human physical body
I commit myself to keep regularly assessing self-honestly my self-application within studies where I make sure that i do not waste my time in deluding myself that I am moving somewhere when I am not
I commit myself to realize that I might be waiting forever if I want to have perfect conditions for my study and thus I commit myself to utilize each and every opportunity to study/learn within realization that each moment where I participate in thinking is a perfect moment that I can clear and make space for my studies
Artwork By Anna Brix Thomsen
Arvydas' Journey to Life 
A, Cool support here !
I commit myself to realize that I might be waiting forever if I want to have perfect conditions for my study and thus I commit myself to utilize each and every opportunity to study/learn within realization that each moment where I participate in thinking is a perfect moment that I can clear and make space for my studies – Cool Support here Arvydas – thanks!