Since I wrote about the point of distractions within doing tasks/assignments in my reality I have seen quite a good improvement in how I approach that, yet now I see that it wasn’t absolute and that there are much more to delete from the list of unwanted behavior. I am still allowing in many instances my self-interest to overpower the responsibility I have towards myself and reality as a whole.
An excerpt from Creation’s Journey to Life blog
“…What made me Able to Handle this was an extensive Application, at that stage of nearly Five Years already, of Self Forgiveness in Writing and Spoken Aloud – Always in the context of Absolute Self Honesty, which I was fortunate enough to Realize on the very first night I did Self Forgiveness, where I realized the Stupidity of not being Absolutely Self Honest, will only Result in me having to repeat everything I do in terms of Self Forgiveness. And so I Decided, no matter what the Consequences, and the Consequences in many ways were Extensive – I would Remain Self Honest, because eventually I would have walked through all the Consequences and Reach a Point where my life would be Purified from all Compromise, from all Relationships based on Inequality and Dishonesty and I would as such, eventually, be a New Person. How long that would take, at that stage, I had no clue, but the Basic Fundamental Principles were Clearly Grasped and is Suggested to each to consider. Because, the Only One that suffers, with Self Interest, in the End: is yourself. Self-Honesty is Critical if you are Ever to Actually Become Aware. And in this, you have to Face Everything, and the Fundamental Point that forms the Foundation of Awareness: is the Dark Side. It is that which one would Rather Avoid and deny and ignore – that is the Home of Awareness. And whomsoever do not Face this in its Absolute Specificity through Self Forgiveness and Self Honesty, will only Ever Create themselves as the Illusion of Consciousness, Creating a False Image of Positiveness in contradiction to the Reality of the Physical World as How the Human Functions in its Relationship of Body, Mind and Spirit. Where the Spirit, in essence, is in fact the Secret Mind which each One hides from Each Other, as if to Deny that it Exist. But, Self Honestly, in Each Human Exist something Profoundly Dark, Destructive and Self-Interested that will, in the end, justify Decisions that Benefit themselves and their families, and sometimes their Friends – but they will NOT live What is Best for All Life, Always.” Bernard Poolman
Absolute self-commitment within absolute self-honesty has to be realized. I have seen before people writing about how it is not possible to get anywhere in half-assed self-application and now I get it as a realization based on my experience. There is no real change when I do not apply myself absolutely, only perception of change.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not apply myself in absolute self-honesty and absolute self-commitment where I just move around the same points over and over never really changing
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I haven’t yet looked at all the nasty corners that I exist in and as where I try to superimpose positive change on who I am now as a being that still exists with unsorted evilness within
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the positive change that I seek will overpower the evilness within and in this way I will avoid facing myself as what I have become in my thoughts/inner conversations towards myself and other people
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I bring the darkness within into the without I will be judged and left alone and so within this fear I hide the reality of myself
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to embrace the dark side of me with all the nasty thoughts that I have towards myself and others and within that take absolute self-responsibility to sort myself out once and for all
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that if I do not deal with the totality of who I am where I avoid and hide from facing the absolute nastiness within me it will never go away but only will be suppressed for some time growing and expanding within until it burst out into the open for me to finally see what I have been allowing
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how I have been allowing seemingly insignificant thoughts within me not understanding the accumulative effect as the most simplistic equation in the universe 1+1=2
I commit myself to remind myself in each breath the importance of being absolutely self-honest with myself where within that I am absolutely committed to take responsibility for everything that opens up
I commit myself to remove all fear that stand in the way of absolute self-honesty and so be ready to face whatever consequences will arise
I commit myself to realize that self-honesty is a process of self-healing that works in the same principle like supportive medicines to the physical body where correctly chosen medicine will bring the disease, when it’s been neglected, outside by various means to be dealt with
I commit myself to stop the positivity character believing I have changed when in self-honesty I know that the change is just too insignificant to be called change and so I commit to become a real being showing and revealing the totality of me without fear and absolute commitment to deal with all the consequences
I commit myself to realize that no mind can only exist in absolutely self-honesty where no secret mind exists to cover up the darkness of what I have become and within this realization open myself to myself and deal with everything point by point by point until I reach absolute clarity
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Arvydas' Journey to Life 
Cool post Arvydas!