tasks

Day 167: Integrating new responsibilities

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I noticed the initial resistance when something new appears in my life regarding some responsibilities as tasks that require constant attention and dedication. This was true almost with every little thing that appeared in my life where I immediately had a reaction to it. And this reaction was always before I have made any investigation, any assessment in relation to time or the complexity of the task or anything. I have immediately used an assumption about the task and myself in relation to the task. It’s amazing to see how I get myself into a comfort zone and have this resistance to break out of it not realizing that it is limiting me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist integrating new things into my daily schedule not realizing that I am limiting myself not allowing any expansion and growth learning and understanding about this reality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear breaking my routine to which I grew accustomed not trusting myself that I can handle more responsibilities

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not good enough to get any new responsibilities within the perception that I am not managing effectively what I already have on my plate

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to manage effectively my daily schedule where I write on a piece of paper in specificity the exact tasks/assignments that have to be done instead of trying to keep the lists of duties in my mind not realizing that through this I am giving too much space for error in terms of forgetting some things and thus not being effective in my overall living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I haven’t yet developed my mind to be a reliable companion in my day to day living therefore a piece of paper with listed daily tasks is a necessity

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself on this point of organizing my day effectively about which I have already written and made commitments but have never lived that to the point of absolute integration

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wake up each morning and use my mind to determine my day in big part according to my mood that I have that day instead of it being a stable list of responsibilities that I commit myself to no matter what mood I have

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I doom myself by allowing myself to live according to my moods

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am still living the construct of free choice believing that I can choose what will I do with my time not realizing my absolute responsibility as a being that is part of this existence where I have seen without a shadow of a doubt the extent of the problem that we as humanity are facing and the extent of commitment that must be taken in order to have any chance of stopping the automated, self-destructive path that we as all humanity are walking at an enormous speed

 

I commit myself to stop any idea of free choice and walk, if not yet with my own absolute realization in each moment of breath, then at least through having trust in the group that has proven itself over and over again with absolute commitment to life, and so I walk in alignment with the group learning from them how to care and how to life in a way that is best for all until I become equal in realization and effectiveness

I commit myself to realize that it is time to just STOP playing all mind games and become serious in my commitment to life where I no longer allow any distraction to avoid the responsibilities that I have as being a part of this world

I commit myself to become the designer and artist of each day where upon waking up I  challenge myself to structure  each of my days in the most effective manner where I meet my responsibilities that I already have as well as looking, finding and integrating new effective measures to grow and expand

 

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Creation’s Journey to Life

Day 159: Physical dimension – looking for other activities

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This blog is continuation in the series where I take the point of studying as well as approaching any other tasks/assignments in my reality. My initial blog as overview is here: “Day 148: I have never been a good student. Is it too late?”

Here I am continuing with the physical dimension where my thoughts, inner conversations, reactions bring me to the point of physical experiences/actions that I fall into without much awareness. Today I am looking at a distraction that I allow myself to be occupied with – that is Looking for other activities

Physical Behavior

Looking for other activities

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to while doing my task/assignment start looking away in search for other activities not related to the task where within that I haven’t made any conscious self-directive decision to do so but just do it automatically

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to commit myself to the task/assignment where I decide beforehand about the amount and length of brakes I am going to take and follow thus my commitment disregarding any attempts by the mind to distract me from the assignment during the process, no matter how justified these distractions seem to be

Of course when something happens that really requires my attention I take a break to take care of it. There is always self-honesty from which I cannot run away and where each situation can be seen as how it originates, what is the starting point of it. Thus I can always know whether I am distracting myself from the task/assignment or whether I really have to give attention to something that comes up in my reality

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize how much time I have wasted through seemingly insignificant little things that I preoccupy myself during tasks/assignments not seeing how each time after any distraction I have to again get myself in tune with the task/assignment

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to ever investigate the process of how I go into distractions of looking for various other activities besides my original decision to work on a task/assignment but allowed myself to just act on my impulses

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that acting on my impulse to seek distraction is the last stage of this whole mind process where it starts  from a single thought where then it goes into imagination then backchat and reaction and physical behavior and thus becoming aware only at the last stage is already more difficult to stop it from playing out and so thus it is imperative to become aware and develop the ability to catch this process at early stages and stop it from playing out

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the importance of being aware of my breath when doing tasks/assignments where within breath I ensure that I am actually here in my physical body rather than alternate reality busy creating possession

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that within this commitment to remain here and follow through to the end when and as doing my assignments/tasks I will make my living experience very difficult

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live according/being directed by the preferences of who I am as the mind not realizing that my desires/personal preferences are all preprogrammed during my life here on earth through various means like media, family and friends etc. and so I am constantly driven by these desires/preferences which are all based on energy and the believe that Energy is required to be alive while in reality who I am does not require energy but just being here in breath, stable at all times, equal to what is here and thus within this equality seeing the state of the world and the individual responsibility each has to sort out the mess we all created and so within this realization I commit myself to sit through my tasks/assignments with diligence and absolute commitment

I commit myself to take self-responsibility in my practical living in this world establishing all necessary self-discipline within doing tasks/assignments realizing that nothing and no one can and will do it for me

I commit myself to break the patterns of self-distraction through constant self-awareness of breath when and as I am doing tasks/assignments realizing my individual responsibility to stop living and allowing my separation from what is here and thus connecting to all parts of existence and within that seeing and doing what needs to be done

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Day 120: Doing tasks just to be done

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Working on my SRA assignment just a while ago I saw how I am just doing it in order to be done while the actual understanding, self-development and self-change was not really considered. I am still approaching studying as I did at school where my main goal was just to pass my subjects so I do not drop out or lag behind. This mindset is still a part of me showing me the gap in actual realization that I have to actually study and understand myself and my reality.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to work on my assignment from the starting point of wanting it to be done where the actual understanding and application of the material is not of the first priority

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have resistance when it comes to dissecting and looking intimately at my own life within doing SRA assignments where within that resistance I manifest like a state of blankness where everything I do is not really understood but is done automatically and in hope that it’s correct

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in various distractions when doing the assignments instead of stopping myself in the moment when I see that I am about to distract myself from the task at hand and bring myself back to task no matter what are the justifications of the mind not to do it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep cycling within the same point of allowing distractions where I judge myself for that instead of understanding my resistances and removing them

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to slow my world down and observe in detail how my mind functions – how do thoughts come up leading me to distraction? How do I allow myself to follow these thoughts and what the hell is still holding me within the limited state that I am instead of making absolute decision to do whatever it takes to free myself from the influences of the mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how lucky I am within having all the structure and support necessary to take on my mind but instead I waste my time unnecessarily prolonging my process with distractions where I allow the various characters that I have accumulated throughout my life come to the forefront and claim the stage directing my participation in this world instead of me being the directive principle at all times

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the process as hard and difficult where I gave it negative association where as a consequence of that I am manifesting the movement towards the opposite polarity which is towards the things that I have associated with positive charge

 

I commit myself to stop my fears of failure within doing my assignments and give the first priority to actual understanding and practical applicability

I commit myself to no longer worry about the time that I spend on my assignment where I make sure that I do it properly where I always check within myself whether what I have just learned I am able to explain in my own words to another

I commit myself to find the pace at which I am comfortable walking my assignments where I realize that the time does not matter as I have to give as much time as needed to fully understand and apply the material and yet I have to push myself to not waste time

I commit myself to stop any and all distractions where I make sure that I do not associate my studying as doing the assignments and performing daily tasks with negative charge where I realize that doing so I will be creating and manifesting the movement towards positive polarity charge

I commit myself to check my decision I have made to stand for life in each moment when the point of distraction comes and within that return myself to breath and deal with anything that is here I am facing