This blog is continuation in the series where I take the point of studying as well as approaching any other tasks/assignments in my reality. My initial blog as overview is here: “Day 148: I have never been a good student. Is it too late?”
Here I am continuing with the physical dimension where my thoughts, inner conversations, reactions bring me to the point of physical experiences/actions that I fall into without much awareness. Today I am looking at a distraction that I allow myself to be occupied with – that is Looking for other activities
Physical Behavior
Looking for other activities
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to while doing my task/assignment start looking away in search for other activities not related to the task where within that I haven’t made any conscious self-directive decision to do so but just do it automatically
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to commit myself to the task/assignment where I decide beforehand about the amount and length of brakes I am going to take and follow thus my commitment disregarding any attempts by the mind to distract me from the assignment during the process, no matter how justified these distractions seem to be
Of course when something happens that really requires my attention I take a break to take care of it. There is always self-honesty from which I cannot run away and where each situation can be seen as how it originates, what is the starting point of it. Thus I can always know whether I am distracting myself from the task/assignment or whether I really have to give attention to something that comes up in my reality
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize how much time I have wasted through seemingly insignificant little things that I preoccupy myself during tasks/assignments not seeing how each time after any distraction I have to again get myself in tune with the task/assignment
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to ever investigate the process of how I go into distractions of looking for various other activities besides my original decision to work on a task/assignment but allowed myself to just act on my impulses
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that acting on my impulse to seek distraction is the last stage of this whole mind process where it starts from a single thought where then it goes into imagination then backchat and reaction and physical behavior and thus becoming aware only at the last stage is already more difficult to stop it from playing out and so thus it is imperative to become aware and develop the ability to catch this process at early stages and stop it from playing out
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the importance of being aware of my breath when doing tasks/assignments where within breath I ensure that I am actually here in my physical body rather than alternate reality busy creating possession
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that within this commitment to remain here and follow through to the end when and as doing my assignments/tasks I will make my living experience very difficult
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live according/being directed by the preferences of who I am as the mind not realizing that my desires/personal preferences are all preprogrammed during my life here on earth through various means like media, family and friends etc. and so I am constantly driven by these desires/preferences which are all based on energy and the believe that Energy is required to be alive while in reality who I am does not require energy but just being here in breath, stable at all times, equal to what is here and thus within this equality seeing the state of the world and the individual responsibility each has to sort out the mess we all created and so within this realization I commit myself to sit through my tasks/assignments with diligence and absolute commitment
I commit myself to take self-responsibility in my practical living in this world establishing all necessary self-discipline within doing tasks/assignments realizing that nothing and no one can and will do it for me
I commit myself to break the patterns of self-distraction through constant self-awareness of breath when and as I am doing tasks/assignments realizing my individual responsibility to stop living and allowing my separation from what is here and thus connecting to all parts of existence and within that seeing and doing what needs to be done
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Yes, this one shows it’s ugly head usually when I am writing and taking on some point within my reality. Usually before I start writing I try to see the point and understand it, but which actually ends up only with lots of thinking about it – and that’s where the “It’s too complicated” character comes in – obviously as the consequence of over-thinking. I find it difficult to remain on the chosen topic in my writings where I start shifting between various dimensions, seeing different connections and interrelations of the point that I initially started to work with. I can compare this experience with doing a research on Google for example where I sit down to do a research on a specific keyword and after I get the results on my screen I tend to get distracted and often I just Google myself away into various directions, researching different topics completely forgetting about the initial point of investigation.
Ok here I want to re-look at my pattern of writing daily blogs where each day it’s a time of the day that I do not look forward to, but resist starting writing and investigating myself – I am constantly struggling to pick the topic and write about it. And then even when I see a point to write about I am still struggling within writing – so this basically shows me that I am still split within myself where I am having some alternative ideas of what it is I would rather be doing. Because when there is nothing else but the decision to write without any distracting thoughts – it should be easy – where I am fully here within the point of investigation, uncovering myself and seeing into myself, getting to know myself more intimately.
Arvydas' Journey to Life 